


True Love Waits

by MalevolentReverie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alpha Ben Solo, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Based on Anon Prompt, Controlling Kylo Ren, Courtship, Darkfic, Domestic Violence, Dominant Ben Solo, Dry Humping, Dubious Consent, Dystopia, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Forced Marriage, Grooming, Groping, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Relationship(s), Internalized Misogyny, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, May/December Relationship, Mild Blood, Misogyny, Nonvember, Omega Rey, POV First Person, POV Rey (Star Wars), Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Pregnancy Kink, Slow Burn, Southern Ben, Spanking, Stepford Wives Vibes, Suspense, Teen Pregnancy, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, cult vibes, doctor ben
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2019-08-17 08:59:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16513286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalevolentReverie/pseuds/MalevolentReverie
Summary: In Rey's tiny Southern town, courtship for Omegas begins when a woman turns fifteen and ends with mating and marriage on the sixteenth birthday. All of her friends have already settled down, but Rey has a free spirit that isn't so easy to subjugate and control. Ben Solo intends to change that.





	1. I'll drown my beliefs

**Author's Note:**

> alright here ya go u filthy animals
> 
> true love waits by radiohead

Everyone starts making creepy comments on my fifteenth birthday and I’m _not_ here for it.

It’s a big deal in our small town and everyone comes to the party in town hall to celebrate. Now I’m fifteen, so a man is allowed to start courting me, and I’ll be married next year on my sixteenth birthday. They’ll stop my suppressants and I’ll be just like all the other girls in our tiny Southern town: pregnant or toting around a pack of kids.

 “Little Rey,” coos Miss Maz, pinching my cheek. “Won’t you make a lovely mommy?”

I bare my teeth in a smile. I’m wearing an old green dress and ran away when Rose tried to put make up on me. Earlier I was out sketching deer tracks in the woods and I still have some dirt under my nails. I’m never going to sit home all day like the other Omegas.

The older ladies tell me I’m a ‘spitfire’ and guess which one of the old guys in town is going to try pursuing me. Hopefully none of them. I do my best to be as rude and dirty as possible, not the prim and proper Southern belle I should be, and it repels their creepy stares. I told Rose the same thing but she married Finn anyway.

I’m sitting between Rose and our other friend, Kaydel. Rose is pregnant with her first and Kaydel is with her second, but she’s watching her mate, Poe Dameron, chase around their one-year-old. She twirls a strand of hair around her finger and beams. I want to barf. He has gray hair—he’s way old, and she’s only seventeen.

Rose rubs her swelling belly. “Sorry Finn couldn’t be here, Rey. He’s stuck working at the hospital.” She preens, smiling. “The anesthesiologists can be called in whenever they’re needed, you know.”

I roll my eyes. Finn’s a doctor and he’s _loaded_ and Poe is a retired Air Force colonel, also _loaded_. Lots of the men in town are wealthy and educated, but none of the women are.

 “That’s okay,” I mutter, picking at my nails.

 “I was talking with Connie Gregoria the other day—” Kaydel hesitates, leaning back to watch Poe comforting Shara while she cries. “She’s married to the poor guy… Rick Gregoria. Anyway, she said that she heard from Lacey Tyler that Ben Solo is back from up North. He’s going to be the head of neurosurgery at—ugh, hang on.”

Kaydel heaves herself out of her chair and walks over to help her mate make Shara stop crying.

Rose eats a piece of chocolate cake. “She’s right. He’s back and totally single, Rey. Thirty-six. _Tons_ of cash. Lacey said he’s kind of a quiet guy but he’s a hardcore Alpha.” She sips her juice and smirks. “Maybe he can get you under control.”

I pick at my dress and huff.

 “Doubt it.”

All the old ladies circle back to make more weird comments about needing a man to keep me under control and unwelcome sex advice (‘just lie still, honey’) and I can’t keep pretending to smile. It’s so gross. It’s like they’re all brainwashed.

I sag over my table, watching morosely as the party is _finally_ winding down. Uncle Unkar’s going to pick me up around eight and start fielding offers immediately because he wants me out of the house as soon as possible. Technically I can’t be married or mated until I’m sixteen, but it happens early all the time. Gross.

Miss Maz, who seems to think she’s my mother, scurries back over to yank me out of my chair. She frets and fixes my hair and cups my face, pushing my lips together. I blink down at her. She’s short with big eyes. Her mate died a couple years ago.

 “Mister Solo is here,” she whispers urgently. “Look your best.”

I snort. “I don’t care.”

 “You’ll care when you’re older and have no money to support yourself. Stand straight.”

I’ll leave this stupid town. I cross my arms over my chest as laughter drifts from down the hall. Poe walks in first with Shara on his hip, and a very tall, pale man follows behind him.

Mr. Solo wears a long black coat that drapes down to his knees. He has a black hat on, too, but politely takes it off and hands it off to Shara with a small smile. She chews on it but he doesn’t seem to mind. I pick up on the Alpha immediately and it’s even stronger than the hints I catch from Poe and Finn. My breath catches.

He just _looks_ way too old for me. He tugs off his black gloves and stows them in his pocket, still nodding and listening to Poe, and works through the buttons on his coat. I’m suddenly insecure about my flimsy green dress and I’m never insecure.

Ben hangs up his coat and hat and smiles as Poe hands him Shara. His hands are huge around her; she looks like a tiny doll in them. Kaydel whispers in Poe’s ear and he glances at me, then winks. I redden.

 “Isn’t this little one beautiful?” Ben murmurs, admiring Shara. His voice is deep with subtle Southern twang. Shara takes his index finger and eagerly gnaws. “And how have you been, Kaydel?”

 “Good, just chasing Shara around and growing another little one.” She rubs her stomach and points to me. “Did you want to go wish Rey a happy birthday? We’ve been joking all night about how you’re the only one who can get her under control.”

I try to shrink behind Maz as Ben turns his dark eyes on me. His gaze sweeps down, taking me in, and he adjusts Shara on his hip. Oh god. I feel tiny and young without my own baby and turn away to hit the dessert table for a slice of cheesecake.

Maz doesn’t follow so I know Ben is walking up to me. Trembling, I heap a couple sweets on my plate, trying to pretend I’m back home bingeing on snacks with Kaydel and Rose. I remember the day Rose turned fifteen and Finn took her from me, and the day Kaydel turned fifteen and Poe took her from me. I miss being little.

 “Hello, Rey.”

Ben looms beside me. He smells like cologne and Alpha male and it just makes me more anxious. I don’t look up.

 “Hi,” I mutter.

 “Happy birthday. An important one, hm?”

I shrug. “Yeah, I guess so. But I don’t want to live here, anyway. I’m going to New York.”

Ben picks up a sugar cookie. “Are you?”

 “Yup.”

Long fingers brush under my chin, tilting my head up, and my eyes meet Ben’s. He smiles and glances at my lips without bothering to hide his interest. I cling to my plateful of sweets.

 “I’ve been told you could use some discipline,” he murmurs. His thumb brushes across my lips. “You’re still the same little wild child you were five years ago, hm?”

 “I don’t need discipline,” I mumble back. “I just do what I want.”

Ben smiles and swipes a bit of frosting from my cake. He pops his fingertip in his mouth and my knees wobble as the prickly Alpha taste tingles along the roof of my own mouth. The tip of his thumb teases just past my lips. I taste salt and leather and my head spins.

 “That’s okay,” he says softly. “I like a challenge.”

Then he picks up another cookie, winks, and wanders back to hold Shara again. I stare at him smiling at her and feel anxiety gather in my stomach. It’s too much for me. I don’t want a baby. I don’t want any of this.


	2. To have your babies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HNNNGGGG

Kaydel invites me over the next day for afternoon tea. I guess it’s a thing you do after you’re married and boring—sit around your kitchen table and gossip about everyone in town. I wear a blue dress and kind of put effort into doing my hair.

Poe’s out with Shara, leaving the two of us alone. Kaydel insists on doing my make up and also tames my wispy brown hair before we go back downstairs to eat tiny sandwiches and shoot the shit.

 “What do you think of Ben?” she asks, rubbing her swollen belly. “He’s nice, isn’t he?”

 “Yeah, I guess. I’m moving to New York, so it really doesn’t matter.”

Kaydel rolls her eyes and sits across from me. She’s wearing a pale pink dress and glows like she always does when she’s pregnant. We’re alone in her enormous house and she keeps it spotless, even while she has to chase Shara around day in and day out.

 “You can live a nice, comfortable life here, Rey. Why leave?”

I pop a tiny sandwich in my mouth. We don’t eat entire bags of chips anymore and stay up all night talking. It’s just babies, babies, babies.

 “I want my own life,” I reply, terse, “not the life someone else wants me to live.”

The front door opens before Kaydel can respond. Her face brightens and she turns in her chair.

Poe walks in first with Shara fast asleep in her carrier. He puts a finger to his lips and gestures to the sleeping baby, then tiptoes over to kiss the crown of Kaydel’s head. She leans into it and smiles.

I bristle when Ben Solo follows close behind with a pair of shades on his long nose. They’re both dressed up in shirts rolled to the elbows and khakis, like they went golfing or something, and I again feel terribly underdressed. He smiles and nods to Kaydel and me.

I watch Poe head upstairs to put Shara down for a nap and pointedly ignore Ben. Freaking Kaydel set this up!

Kaydel pulls out a chair. “Wow, Ben, I didn’t know you’d be hanging around Poe today.” She kicks me under the table. “Don’t you want to say hi, Rey?”

Ben takes off his shades and hooks them over his breast pocket. “We ran into each other in the park, and you know I can’t resist holding that baby, Kaydel.” He folds his hands in his lap. “And how are you today, Miss Niima?”

I’m already shoving sandwiches in my mouth so I don’t have to talk to him. I shrug, ignoring Kaydel’s murderous glare, and keep on eating. Ben smiles and searches my face for a minute, then leans toward me.

He wipes his thumb along the corner of my lips and I can’t help but look right into his hypnotic dark eyes. They hold me for a moment. I smell spicy cologne and the Alpha pheromones and _almost_ tilt my chin to let him do what he wants with my throat. Omega brain wants him all over me.

 “Messy girl,” he murmurs. His long fingers curl under my jaw. “I think I can break you of that.”

Kaydel’s smirking when Ben sits back in his chair. He asks permission to join our bullshit tea party and rises from the table to find himself and Poe cups. I glare at my friend and she fans herself, mouthing ‘oh my god!’ dramatically.

‘Break me of that’—yeah right. I’d like to see him try.

Poe comes back downstairs and sits across from Ben. He exchanges a glance with Kaydel then waggles his eyebrows at me like the weirdo he is. He’s obnoxious. He was obnoxious when he was courting Kaydel, always throwing presents at her, and he’s obnoxious now.

It’s not even ‘courting’ like the old definition. No chaperoned dates. Basically the Alpha showers the Omega and her family with gifts and money and they slowly work up to actually having sex over the course of the year. They go out on dates, go to parties. Kaydel was blowing Poe in his Porsche by the end of the first month.

Poe pours a cup of tea for his wife. “Rey likes painting, Ben—and Ben, do you still do that calligraphy shit?”

 “Yes, Poe: I still do that calligraphy shit.” Ben takes the pot from Poe and pours a cup for me. “It helps my dexterity. What do you paint, Rey? Do you have any favorite artists?”

Ugh. I mumble a ‘thanks’ and drop five sugar cubes in my tea. Kaydel winces, appalled by my bad etiquette, but Ben keeps watching me and smirking like he finds it endearing. Poe watches Ben watching me, sizing up our connection the same way Kaydel is.

I know they’re trying to help me, but I don’t want this life.

 “Banksy,” I quip.

 “Ah. A rebel for a rebel.” Ben sips his tea, unruffled. “Well, I have a studio where I sometimes do my ‘calligraphy shit.’ You’re welcome to use it whenever you’d like.”

I clench my jaw. “No thanks.”

I’m not going to be tricked or bought by this guy. Yeah, feel free to use his art studio, then maybe he’ll happen by and ask for a thank-you blowjob. What a joke.

Kaydel slaps down her napkin and abruptly stands.

 “Rey, can you come help me down the hall?”

I scowl at Ben as I stand up, too. He keeps smiling from behind his finger, idly stroking his upper lip, and watches me storm off.

Kaydel drags me in her formal dining room and shuts the door behind us. She throws her hands up in the air and turns, stiff and angry, then points her finger in my face.

 “You’re being ridiculous!” she snaps.

 “I told you, I’m not staying here! I don’t want him buying me off Unkar and I’m not—”

 “Where are you getting the money to move to New York, Rey?! Do you know how much money that costs? And you don’t have a public school education—you haven’t even graduated from high school yet. You have no skills, no diploma, and you’re a fifteen-year-old Omega.”

 “Fuck you, Kaydel!” I hiss back. “You think you’re so mature now because you let some Alpha buy you and knock you up?!”

She wilts back, rubbing her face. We stand there in silence for a minute. I think we both know we went too far.

Kaydel turns away from me, gazing out the window across her manicured lawn. She strokes her cheek and her diamond engagement ring glints in the low light.

I huff. “I’m sorry.”

 “No—it’s okay.” She hesitates, then wanders to the window, bathing her dress in sunlight and making it sparkle. “You know I wanted to be a mechanic… But there’s no way out of this place. Not for us.” She rests her hands on the sill. “Poe’s a nice guy. He takes good care of me and Shara, and he’s crazy about us. I just want the same thing for you, Rey—because after you turn sixteen, a mate is your only option.”

She’s right, but I’m still holding out hope that I can escape. Maybe I can marry Ben and take his money. Run away. But that means I still have to let him take my dignity and treat me like a trophy.

Poe’s a nice guy and so is Finn, but they still treat Kaydel and Rose like trophies. It’ll be the same with Ben, and he’ll brag about how he had to hunt me down and about how I resisted his advances.

I chew my lower lip and shuffle over to Kaydel. She’s crying, which makes me feel even worse, but before I can wrap an arm around her and apologize, the door busts open.

Poe’s there, all protective Alpha male, on high alert from sensing his mate’s distress. Kaydel turns away from me and lets him envelop her in a hug and she cries even more. She’s all hormonal and pregnant. Poe purrs and gently lifts her into his arms.

 “I think all three of my babies need a nap,” he teases softly. His dark eyes flicker to me, irritated. “Ben can bring you home, Rey.”

Then he carries her out and I’m left alone with Ben leaning on the doorframe. He has his arms folded over his chest and offers me a knowing smile. I clench my hands into fists.

 “I know it hurts seeing your friend go to someone else for comfort.” He cocks his head. “You’ll understand when you have a mate, kitten. The bond is very powerful—and unbreakable.”

 “I don’t want a mate,” I retort.

Ben raises his eyebrows, shrugging off the doorway. He keeps his arms crossed as he saunters closer, all intimidating Alpha male, giving me the same look like he can read my mind. He circles me once and I don’t move a muscle. I feel like he’ll pounce.

Warm breath brushes my ear. He’s right behind me.

 “We’ll see,” he whispers. A ghost of a touch of fingertips on my lower back. “Who knows… maybe you’ll come whimpering to me like that.”

Prickles along the roof of my mouth. I instinctively tilt my jaw, submitting to his sheer presence the way I’m hardwired to. My arms tremble at my sides.

Ben rewards me with a comforting purr. “It seems like you _do_ want a mate—and maybe you’re a good, obedient girl after all.” He brushes my inner wrist with his index finger. “I’ll instruct you on the correct way to behave, little Omega. I’m a _very_ patient man.”

Then he casually walks away from me and I’m freed from his oppressive influence. He snaps his fingers for me to follow on his way out the door into the hallway.

Flustered, I shuffle after him and shiver. I’m covered in goosebumps.


	3. I’ll dress like your niece

Ben doesn’t ask for my address. He slides into the driver’s seat of his Tesla and it boots up like a space ship, then he’s driving off without another word. I click my seatbelt and wring my hands. Nice leather seats, quiet engine. Expensive car.

 “Well, those tea sandwiches didn’t do much for me,” he says. “Why don’t we find dinner elsewhere, hm?”

I glance at him, this much older man dressed to the nines, and tug my dress over my knees. I’m so underdressed. Such a kid.

 “I’d like to go home,” I snip.

 “I’m sure—to eat canned soup?”

Fuck. Kaydel told him about Unkar?! I huff and fold my arms over my chest, blushing furiously. Fine; I’m poor. That doesn’t mean I need an Alpha male to take care of me.

 “Maybe,” I mutter.

Ben shifts into third gear, zooming through the streets. He idly reaches over to pat my knee and I swat his hand away, resisting the instinct to let him do whatever he wants. But it doesn’t really repel him. He just smiles.

 “I spoke to your uncle earlier today.” His warm palm cups my knee and I don’t dare move. _Alpha male. Don’t move._ “He’s eager to find you a mate—he offered you to me right off the bat.”

I glare at Ben’s hand and try my best not to let my anxiety show. It breaks with tradition, and our town is all about tradition, but someone with his social standing won’t come under much scrutiny. Everyone says he’s a ‘nice boy,’ like he’s not a thirty-six-year-old man pursuing a fifteen-year-old girl.

Unkar’s a big enough jerk to go through with it, too. I’m a burden to him. He’ll get a big bag of money and I’ll be shipped off to be Ben’s wife, even if I don’t want to be.

Things happen behind closed doors. I see it sometimes: covered bruises, black eyes excused away, women being in mysterious month-long heats. Alphas can do whatever they want with their property and no one dares question it and it’s ‘improper’ to bring it up.

Ben squeezes my knee, then returns to the shift knob. “I’m not that type of man, though; and half the fun is in the chase.”

I can’t help sighing with relief. Phew.

 “Great.” I tug my dress over my knees and stare at my shoes. “Am I supposed to thank you or something?”

 “You can if you’d like to.”

 “Oh—then thanks for not buying me like livestock.”

His smile widens but he keeps his eyes on the road.

 “You’re welcome.”

We pull up to some small restaurant with an Italian name and fancy framed windows. There’s a couple other cars out front. It’s the type of place I can’t afford and wouldn’t even bother looking at.

Ben opens my door for me and guides me inside. I’m underdressed _again_. The waiters and waitresses wearing matching black uniforms and the hostess gives me a surprised glance. She knows I don’t fit in, either. She probably assumes I’m a hooker.

Ben takes off his shades. “Two. Booth, please.”

 “Of course.”

We must be out of town. Women don’t usually have jobs in Elysian Fields.

We walk through the dark restaurant to the back and sit across from each other at a small table. The hostess pours us two glasses of water and I eagerly guzzle mine while Ben checks something on his phone. There’s a calm mood in the place, what with the low lighting and soft music. I look around at the old décor.

The waitress comes over with menus, but Ben waves her off. He slips this phone inside his jacket and motions toward me.

 “She’ll have the tilapia, broccoli and rice pilaf on the side. I’ll have the filet mignon, rare, same sides.” He unrolls his fabric napkin of silverware and sets it across his lap. “Glass of cabernet for me and…” Ben raises an eyebrow, studying me. “Rose for my date.”

Our waitress doesn’t seem to mind me drinking alcohol. She nods and skitters off, leaving me alone at the table with Ben.

I chew my inner cheek. “I wanted alfredo.”

 “Fish is good for your brain. Alfredo clogs your arteries.”

 “I’m _fifteen_. Clogged arteries don’t matter to me.” I take another sip of water and clasp my hands in my lap. “And I don’t drink.”

 “A glass of wine won’t kickstart alcoholism, little one.” Ben leans back with a knowing smile. “I know you’re concerned about that.”

I smile tightly. “I’m more worried about my liver.”

We talk for a while—he goads me into answering questions about how I like school (I don’t) and asks other weird stuff about my favorite color and things like that. Our wine comes and I take my first taste of alcohol. It’s not so bad. Sweet and bubbly.

The waitress brings our dinners soon after. Ben slides my plate over and idly cuts up the fish without asking me for permission. I glower.

 “I can cut my own food!” I snap.

 “Not the right way.” He pushes my plate back when he’s satisfied and nods toward my napkin. “Fold your napkin in your lap. Keep your elbows off the table.”

Irritated, I slam my elbows on the table and stuff the hem of my napkin down the collar of my dress. Ben watches me without giving anything away as I use my fingers to eat the bite-sized portions of tilapia and broccoli. He’s lucky. I considered throwing it at him.

We eat in silence. He cuts up his filet, popping chunks in his mouth, and keeps an eye on me messily stuffing my face. I’m trying my best to repel him. I’m gross and childish and uncontrollable.

Ben finishes his dinner and politely pats his mouth with his napkin. He slides from the booth and comes to mine, ignoring my hissing and spitting, then he grabs my wrists and growls. I shrink back. I don’t want to, but instinct commands it.

 “Messy girl,” he chastises gently. “Messy, naughty girl.”

He sucks the salt and grease from my fingers, dark eyes locked on mine. I stare at him, mesmerized by the sweep of his tongue across my skin and the way he’s not repulsed by how I’m acting. He smiles at me the entire time like he can read my nervous thoughts.

Ben tugs my napkin from my collar when he’s through and wipes my hands clean. I’m… kind of humiliated.

 “All full?” he asks.

 “Yeah. Thanks.” I tug my hands free of his. “I’m ready to go home.”

Being a pig doesn’t work, apparently. He likes it.

Ben nods and sets the napkin aside. “Of course, little one. Let me pay the bill and we’ll be on our way.”

I’m unsettled. There’s something about him—the way he’s so confident and self-assured; the way he knows what I want without asking. He seems controlling. I don’t like being controlled. I like walking through the woods with my shoes off and sketching whatever inspires me. Ben’s all proper and educated and methodical.

He wants things the way he wants them and he’s not afraid to impose his will on other people. He’s more of a new age Alpha, with a pressed suit and high education. The old age ones are more like Poe, with sharp jaws and rough features and animal instinct. Ben keeps his hidden… sort of.

Ben is a bit more ‘proper’ with how he exerts control.

We pay and leave. He drives me back to my house and I see Unkar out on the porch. I fumble with my seatbelt.

 “I’ll see you soon,” Ben murmurs. “Have a nice night, Miss Niima.”

I cast him a venomous glare.

 “Yeah, you too.” I hesitate with the door handle. “If you want someone you can control, you’ll be miserable chasing me down. Ask anybody in town.”

Ben brushes his index finger down my upper arm. “That’s precisely why I want you.”

Fine. Your funeral.

I slap his hand away and hop out of the car. His gaze follows me all the way inside.


	4. And wash your swollen feet

The leaves are changing, September transitioning to October, and it’s a perfect time to break out my watercolors. I’d like to see them up in New York or Vermont where the colors are bright, dramatic oranges and reds and golds. I will. Soon.

I set up on a towel in the park with my paints and brushes. It’s a cool day so I have overalls and a long-sleeved thermal on; things that I can stain with my paints. The ground is a bit damp. I move around a couple times until I find a dry spot under a weeping willow.

The park has a huge grassy field next to the jungle gym and slides for the little kids. Squealing and laughter float across the breeze as I begin painting a cluster on the tree line that leads into deep, foreboding dark woods. It’s peaceful out here, though: rustling dry leaves, the petrichor from last night’s storm; no one will—

 “Bit cold to be outside painting.”

I stiffen and scowl.

Ben sits beside me on my towel, this time dressed in green scrubs with his hair pulled back. He drapes his coat around my shoulders before I can protest. It’s heavy and warm, thick with Alpha musk and cologne. I shudder as it swallows me up.

He scratches his jaw and eyes my painting. “You paint, too?”

 “Yes.” I ignore him as best I can. “How did you find me?”

 “Coincidence, surprisingly. The hospital is down the street and I’m done with work for the day. Brain surgery, if you care to know.”

 “I don’t.”

Ben leans forward, draping his hands in his lap. Heat creeps up the back of my neck.

 “I enjoyed our outing the other night,” he says. “Women are typically happy to do whatever I please… but not you.”

 “Yeah, well, I have self-respect. I don’t care about your money or status. I don’t need it.”

He brushes my hair back from my neck. “Why not? I can provide for you, little one—I’d be happy to.” His hand rests behind my butt and I swear he touches me. “You’ll have a simple, easy life with me; the way an Omega’s life should be.”

Kaydel and Rose _seem_ to have it easy, sure—but they don’t. I know how confusing and weird it is for them to be married to much older men. I know how terrified Rose is about giving birth and how Kaydel had a forty-eight hour birth with Shara. She shit on the table. Her vagina had to be sewn back together and she wore a diaper to collect the blood post-partum.

I’m petrified. I don’t know how to run tea parties or collect gossip and I don’t want to. I don’t want a baby clinging to my leg or rolling in my belly. I don’t want to scream for hours in agony.

Ben watches me paint without saying another word. He breathes on my shoulder—not touching—just in and out, in and out. I sneak a glance at his big hand on his thigh and imagine him making me pregnant and changing my life forever.

It’s too much.

 “I’m going to college,” I blurt. “I’m—I’m not having a baby.” I snap my watercolors closed and take down my canvas. “Kaydel had to wear a diaper, you know. They gave her Percocet.”

Ben grabs my hand as I reach for my bag. I stare at it, trembling, as he gently guides my wrist back to my watercolors. He presses my palm to the closed kit and strokes his thumb along the side of my hand. He can break my fingers if he wants to.

 “Paint, little one,” he murmurs. “Don’t worry about those things yet.”

 “I have a year until I’m a broodmare like all my friends. Excuse me for worrying about it.”

He cups a warm palm on my cheek and guides my face to the side, trying to make me look him in the eyes. Stubborn, I glare away from him to the jungle gym, determined not to meet his gaze. Ben sighs and cradles my face in both hands like I’m a poorly-behaved porcelain doll. I grab his wrists and squeeze my eyes shut.

 “Rey.” He runs his thumbs across my cheek bones. “What happened to your friend isn’t the norm.”

 “I don’t care. I still don’t want to do it.”

 “You’ll feel differently when heat begins.” His lips move across my forehead while he speaks and I start to wilt, shrinking back under his looming presence. “Did Kaydel tell you about that?”

 “…Not really,” I mutter.

Ben hums, pleased. “No? I suppose you’ll find out when your suppressants are stopped on your next birthday.” He kisses the tip of my nose. I shiver. “Then you’ll change your tune about having babies—and about me.”

 “Doubt it.”

He tugs, I taste minty breath, then soft lips press to mine.

My eyes pop open in shock. Ben’s are closed and he’s actually _kissing me_ , skin-to-skin, cradling my face in his huge hands. He tugs again, gentle, and I have to catch myself on his knees to keep from falling in his lap. I try to pull away and he growls low in his throat. It makes my neck itch. I dig my nails into his knees.

I’ve never actually kissed anyone before. It makes my head spin—what do I do next? _How do I make this Alpha happy?_

Ben keeps pulling until I have to paw over his lap and then I’m sitting there with my legs around his hips. The willow rustles around us; kids shriek with laughter across the park. His hands roam down to my waist and he shuffles me around like I weigh nothing.

I cling to his shoulder blades as he nudges my chin. My jaw moves on instinct, exposing my throat and sleepy mating gland, but I feel another tingle and itch from his breath on my skin.

 “Good girl,” Ben whispers. He kisses under my jaw. “Don’t you want someone to take care of you, little Omega? No more worrying about where your next meal comes from…” His nose traces a line down my jugular. “No more cold nights alone.” He licks a wet line back up my jugular to my mating gland and I whimper.

 “Don’t… don’t…”

 “You have to be in heat for that, kitten.” Ben toys with the clasps on my overalls, then pushes them up to release the hinge. “Aren’t these sweet? Why don’t we take them off and see what’s underneath?”

The front falls open. Thankfully I’m wearing a black and white striped shirt but it’s a crop top that ends just before my belly button. Ben nuzzles into the crook of my neck, staring down at my stomach, and he groans in a weird way I’ve never heard before.

 “Beautiful.” He kisses my neck, fumbling with my overalls. “Let’s take these off.”

No—NO!

Ignoring instinct, I squirm out of Ben’s lap and collapse on my blanket on my back. He has a weird look in his eyes, hazy and hungry, and he immediately kneels between my thighs. I stare up at him in terror and claw at his scrubs. Please don’t—please don’t—

He licks his lips. “What? Hm?” His dark eyes stay on mine as he leans back on his calves and brushes his fingertips across my knees. “I just want to take a look, little one. Please?”

 “Rey?!”

The spell is broken.

Rose is approaching with Finn close behind. She’s waving, clearly already aware of Ben crouched over me, and I know she’s trying it save me. I scramble from under Ben and twist on my stomach.

Finn’s in his scrubs, too, but they’re blue. He laughs and shakes hands with Ben and Rose crouches beside me. We gather my paints. I’m trembling, terrified of how my body is betraying me and the control Ben has over me. Fuck. FUCK.

Rose touches my shoulder. “Kaydel let it slip he was coming here. I knew you’d need help.” She touches her swelling belly. “I didn’t have help when we conceived.”

Oh god. Tears well up and I nod and want to scream. But if Finn senses Rose is upset, he’ll take her away from me like Poe took Kaydel, so we both have to swallow back our fear.

I do sneak a nuzzle on Rose’s temple. She hugs me around the waist until Finn growls and summons her. I cling to her fingers until I can’t, then I ignore Ben while I gather the rest of my things. Fuck Alphas. I’m not waiting another day in this hellhole.


	5. Just don’t leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side tumblr: malevolent-reveries

Miss Maz invites Rose and I over for lunch a couple days after the park incident and all she does is gush about Ben, calling him a ‘sweet boy’ and ‘good apple.’ I’m not going to run from town screaming or anything. I’m biding my time until I can get the hell out; maybe slip away in the night.

I sit in my chair, miserable, wearing another uncomfortable dress. “He’s a _man_ , Maz.”

She laughs. “All men are boys in the end, Rey.”

Rose smiles and nods along politely. She hasn’t elaborated on her words from the park. I think she’s afraid to. Maybe it’s easier not to admit those kinds of things—just bury it down.

 _All men are boys._ No, they aren’t.

We finish up and walk to Rose’s house down the block, both silent. I don’t want to go home and deal with Unkar trying to sell me off to Ben and I don’t want to go to the park in case he follows me there. I pick at my dress, miserable. Nowhere to go. Even Kaydel is in on it.

Rose and Finn own a home very similar to Kaydel and Poe’s. It’s empty: Finn’s at work with Ben. We make our way to the living room to watch TV, sitting together on the off-white couch.

 “We’ll have to change things when Paige arrives,” Rose says, sitting much straighter than she used to. “Babies and white don’t go along together. But most of the house is baby-proofed.”

I tug my dress over my knees. “…Rose. What did you mean about having no one to help you?”

 “Did you want some tea?” She stands suddenly. “We have these great little biscuits, too. Take out? Pizza? Chinese?”

 “Come on, Rose. Tell me.”

She turns away and shuffles to the kitchen. I huff and hurry after her, determined to find out if Finn did something awful. It won’t change anything but… I need to know.

Rose pretends to be busy cleaning their Keurig. I sit at the big table and watch, kind of annoyed. Why won’t she just tell me? She’s always talking about how great Finn is. So what if he isn’t that great? Isn’t it better to talk it out?

She pauses. Her head droops.

 “He can sense when I’m upset.” Rose rinses the collecting grate. “I have to be careful—watch what I say or how I feel. He and Poe are always listening in on me and Kaydel.”

 “Yeah, I know. Figured that out a few days ago.” I wring my hands under the table. I don’t know if I’m prepared to hear this, honestly. “Did Finn, like… force you?”

Rose shakes the grate, sets it on a towel beside the sink. She laughs and wipes her hands.

 “God no. He’s too much of a gentleman for that. Just… you know. Alphas are pushy, and it’s hard when you’re young and they come on to you like that. I wish someone told me to wait. That’s all.”

 “Didn’t you get pregnant after—oh.” I blink. “ _Oh._ ”

She nods and strokes her stomach. “Yeah. I’m further along than we admitted. First time we had sex, too… it happened fast. I thought the same thing might happen to you, so when Kaydel told me, I knew I had to get there fast.”

Well, it’s a relief. If Finn forced himself on Rose, I’d have to kill him myself. But she knows how overwhelming Alphas are and was just looking out for me. I smile a little and thank her. She smiles back and works on making us tea.

We go back to the living room to watch television. I sip my earl gray and squint at some cop documentary when Rose suddenly gasps.

She’s clutching her stomach, wincing. I fret over her being in pain, but she waves me off, trying to smile and ignore it. Then she does it again, and this time I see the cushions under her stain red.

 “Fuck,” she moans.

Finn is already home just as I call the ambulance. He sensed something was wrong almost an hour ago. He scoops Rose up in his arms and I insist on tagging along to the hospital. My heart pounds. She’s not due for three more months.

It all happens fast. Rose keeps insisting she feels okay, but she keeps bleeding and gets woozy. Finn carries her inside in a panic, blue scrubs stained red, and snaps at the nurse to admit her. I manage to hold her hand before she’s wheeled back with Finn shouting orders and clutching her other hand.

I collapse in a chair in the waiting room, chewing my nails. What if the baby doesn’t make it?

The hospital sounds buzz around me. Time drags on with no word from the doctor or Finn. Alphas aren’t known for abandoning their mates—I know he’s right there keeping an eye on Rose.

They’re fiercely protective, responding to the slightest hint of distress. It sounds romantic but becomes controlling and overbearing.

Kaydel and Poe arrive to check in on things. She’s emotional because she’s lost a baby before and Poe is draped all over her like a security blanket. I’m still too nervous to show much emotion. I just want coffee and a donut or something. I want Rose to be okay.

 “Miss Niima?”

I’m alone. Kaydel’s off with Poe and I’m panicking about Rose. I glance up.

Ben’s there in his green scrubs, head tilted. He sits beside me and I struggle to hold back tears. I can taste him in my mouth and Omega brain wants to give in and cry to him.

 “Hi,” I mutter.

 “I heard about Rose.” He offers me a cup and a paper bag. “Coffee and a donut?”

I _almost_ demand to know if he can read my mind, but I just nod and thank him. He leans back and checks his watch. Somehow, he even knows the ratio of cream and sugar that I like.

Ben clears his throat. “I apologize for making you uncomfortable the other day. I’m… still not used to being around Omegas. Not many up north.”

 “Thanks.” I take a bite of my glazed donut and study him. “We’re okay unless you try to peel my clothes off again. I don’t appreciate it.”

 “I understand.”

Finn arrives and says Rose and the baby are fine. Both are in the ICU and can’t take visitors at the moment, but it’s a girl, and her name is Paige. Ben pats him on the back and I feel a stroke of pleasure seeing Finn crying. Good. He should be afraid of losing them.

I walk out into the night with Ben, now off his shift. He brushes my forearm with a curled finger.

 “Are you feeling okay?” he asks.

I’m not sure. I shrug.

 “My best friend just gave birth. Now I’m really alone.”

 “You’re not alone. They’re just transitioning to the next stage of life.” Ben nods toward the parking lot. “Come. We’ll have dinner and you can stay in my home for the evening.”

 “Oh, great. Can’t wait for you to bug me.”

He tugs my elbow, laughing. “I won’t—I promise. We can order a pizza. I’m off tomorrow, surprisingly.”

I cast him a shrewd glance. “Really?”

 “Of course. And if I make you uncomfortable, you’re free to call the Damerons.”

It’s dumb, but I agree.

Ben drives us home in his Tesla, racing through quiet streets. I don’t want to spend the night listening to Unkar tell me how much of a burden I’m becoming. I stare out the window and text Rose a few times but she doesn’t answer.

His house isn’t a McMansion like the others. It’s shrouded in trees, all stone and cedar shakes, and I’m instantly smitten. We park in the garage and he brings me inside without a word.

The floors are dark wood but I can’t see much else. I gaze up at the vaulted ceilings with exposed wooden beams and turn in circles. It’s beautiful.

 “Three beds, three baths.” Ben drops his keys on the granite island and shrugs. “Not as fancy as Dameron or Finn’s homes.”

 “It’s so pretty.”

 “Thank you. I worked hard for it.”

The lights flick on. All the kitchen appliances are stainless steel and it leads out into a living room with comfortable earth-toned furniture. He has a lot of framed pictures of landscapes on the walls. I study them, padding across beige carpet.

Ben gives me a tour of his master bedroom and the two guest rooms. All have nice décor that he clearly didn’t pick out. I hesitate outside his bedroom when I pick up on heavy Alpha scent.

 “Too strong,” I confess.

He smirks and shuts the door. “Ah. My apologies. There aren’t any Omegas up north, you know.”

 “None?”

 “None.” He walks along beside me down the hall. “It’s a bit of a rarity nowadays.”

 “…Oh.”

He settles me downstairs before going back up to change. I feel weird in my dress—exposed. And I feel even weirder knowing Omegas aren’t very common anymore, because it seems like something I should know. We didn’t learn that in school. We don’t learn _a lot_ in school.

I chew my nails. Rarity. That explains why he’s come back.


	6. Don't leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y i k e s

Eerie silence creeps across the big house.

I’m not quite sure what Ben’s angle is in bringing me here. Obviously he’s going for isolation, but I’m not changing my mind about him any time soon. And if he tries anything like what he did in the park… I’m _running_ and I’ll never look back.

The living room has nice furniture, all soft pleather and dark wood. A fire crackles in the electric fireplace and I can see my reflection in his flatscreen hanging over the mantel. I frown at my ugly dress. It should logically turn pretty much any man away.

The stairs creak behind me. I turn and see Ben padding downstairs in tapered black running pants and a gray AC/DC T-shirt that just makes his shoulders look even broader. He smiles at me upon his approach and runs a hand through his hair, parting it to the side. My heart skips a beat.

 “Did you want to change?” he asks, cocking an eyebrow. “Not that you don’t look lovely in your dress.”

 “Sure, yeah. Just need to keep my distance from your bedroom.”

 “Of course.”

Ben leads me back upstairs to one of the plain guest rooms. It’s beige with beach decorations and cream furniture, and a big bed under the window across the room. I pad across soft carpet with my arms crossed.

He has a faint scent of Alpha: spicy, like cinnamon, prickling the roof of my mouth. He saunters past me and opens one of the dresser drawers.

 “I hope you don’t mind,” he says, “but I took the liberty of purchasing some items for you.” Ben glances over his shoulder and winks. “I assumed you’d sleep here sooner or later.”

 “Presumptuous,” I snip.

He laughs and rummages for another minute. I glare at his muscular back as he turns with a couple things: a white nightgown and pink panties. They’re lacy; not what I’d usually wear.

My face immediately burns. “I’m—no!”

 “What’s the matter?” Ben smiles at me and keeps his eyes on mine as he rubs the clothes under his jaw, marking them with his scent. “Don’t you like them?”

 “ _No_! And I want _pants_!”

He shrugs, setting the clothes on the end of the bed. Now they’re going to reek of him all night and drive me fucking crazy. I’ve heard of Alphas trying to force heat past suppressants before and it causes serious illness—conveniently, only they can help.

 “I can certainly provide pants. They’re mine, though… won’t fit you very well.” Ben sweeps his gaze down my body and smiles, head tilted. “They may fall off.”

Fuck. I swipe the gown and panties and turn to leave. I’m not going to be forced into—

 “I hear you’re planning on running away to New York, Miss Niima. Soon.”

I freeze.

Well… that’s old news; that I want to leave. My considering moving up my escape isn’t. I only told Rose, right? Maybe Kaydel? They wouldn’t…

  _“You have to be careful about how you feel, Rey. They can sense it.”_

The hair on my nape stands up. Fuck. My two best friends aren’t safe to confide in anymore.

I clear my throat. “I’m not leaving Rose. She just had a baby and she’s going to need help.” Then I turn and fixate Ben’s easy smile with a cold glare. “Omegas have to stick together, you know. Since we’re so rare.”

 “Mm.” Ben studies me, unflinching. “I’ve expressed my opinion on the matter to Finn and Poe, but they like giving their caged birds a friend to sing with. _You_ are a bit more… calculating. Challenging.”

 “Are you calling my friends stupid?”

 “No. Compliant. Natural for an Omega. You’ve never been one for compliance.”

I snort disdainfully. “Yeah, so how about you leave me alone?”

Ben crosses his arms over his barreled chest and clicks his tongue. He really is huge. He looks like a linebacker. Classic Alpha male.

 “Little birds chatter when left to their own devices. They get strange notions in their heads…” He straightens, no longer leaning on the dresser, and shrugs as he saunters toward me. “Question the natural order of things… consider leaving a nice small town like Elysian Fields.” His shadow eclipses me. I don’t move as he casually circles, predatory. “It _is_ a lovely little town, you know.”

I worm my nails into the soft meat of my palms. “Sure, but you changed the subject.”

Suddenly, Ben’s breath is hot on top of my head and I feel the faint trace of a fingertip down the back of my upper arm. I stiffen on instinct. He’s looming behind me, invading my space; I can taste him in my mouth.

He sighs. “It would be such a _bother_ to chase you all the way north… time off work, pulling strings; the like. But…” His fingertip carries on over gooseflesh down the back of my arm, all the way to my palm. He squeezes my hand. “Someone needs to show you the benefits of a gilded cage.”

Then he’s gone, feet padding down the stairs, and I’m left alone in the bedroom to change.

I take my sweet time before walking back downstairs. Ben’s words unsettled me like they always do and now I’m not so sure of how I’m going to make my escape. Someone will be watching me. I can’t discuss it with Rose or Kaydel. I have to figure it out on my own and that’s hard without any resources.

It kind of strikes me when I see him sitting on the couch: he’s not going to give up. He won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

Ben looks over his shoulder and smiles. His dark eyes linger on the couple inches of my calves exposed. The gown drapes halfway down my shins.

 “I ordered our pizza,” he says. “Plain.”

 “Great.” I shuffle to the couch and sit down on the other end with my arms crossed. “Any news about Rose? How’s the baby?”

 “Very well. Finn won’t stop blabbing about it.”

Ben’s scrolling through his cell phone. My gaze trails up his thick arms and I feel a sudden sense of uneasiness, strong than the general anxiety I feel on a constant basis. He really can do whatever he wants to me, and no one will stop him, and no one will care.

He doesn’t need permission from me or Unkar. When my suppressants stop, he’ll be right there waiting. I clap my trembling hands in my lap to quell them.

This man _kissed_ me and tried to strip me in a park. Finn’s response was to laugh about it. No one will care if he decides to force himself on me in the privacy of his own home. He already violated me.

Ben scratches his jaw. “The studio is out back in the guest house. You’re welcome to it whenever you like.”

 “…Great. No thanks.”

He laughs and shakes his head.

 “As you wish, little one.”

We sit in stony silence for a long time. Sitcoms rerun on the TV and the fireplace crackles and flickers. I pick at my nightgown and slowly panic at the prospect of Ben dragging me kicking and screaming to his bedroom. He won’t. It’ll look… bad. No one can possibly think he’s a ‘nice boy’ if he does _that_.

Or maybe they can, because it’s normal for him to take whatever he wants, and it’s normal for me to put up with it.

I chew my inner cheek. “I’ll never forgive you if you force me to do anything.”

Ben doesn’t look at me. He keeps his bored eyes on the television and blinks once, slow.

 “Is that so?”

 “Yes. I’ll make your life a living hell.”

This time he smiles wryly, but still doesn’t look away. He’s leaning on the arm of the couch, jaw resting in his palm.

 “I thought _I_ would be making _your_ life a living hell,” he muses.

I shrug. “Just saying—if you were getting any ideas.” My pulse quickens, because I know challenging an Alpha is stupid as hell. “You won’t like what happens.”

To my surprise, there’s no response. Ben continues ignoring me and watching TV until the doorbell rings. He gets up to answer it while I bask in smug satisfaction. Good. Now he knows I mean business.

The smell of pizza precedes Ben. He sets the box down on his coffee table and offers me a bottle of water (who drinks water with pizza?) then takes a seat right next to me. I frown at his thigh pressing against mine—then glance up—

He kisses me. It’s forceful, bowing me back, and I’m so shocked that I can only squeak and grab the front of his shirt. Ben looms over me, once hand on the back of the couch and the other curling under my waist, holding me to his chest. The kiss deepens. I taste mint and saliva; something like cinnamon, and realize it’s pheromones.

My thoughts of resistance slip away in a haze. I melt against him and sigh into his mouth, kissing him back; doing exactly what I keep insisting I don’t want to do. He’s like a drug.

Ben shifts on the cushions to his knees. He’s way too big for the couch, but manages to get one leg between my knees as he tries lowering both of us together. I have to move my hips and spread my legs to accommodate him, even though my hindbrain is screaming in terror. Omega brain hums with pleasure.

He holds me with one arm like I don’t weigh a thing until he has both knees on the couch. Our kiss breaks for a moment and lucidity trickles back—he’s breathing hot on my neck and I’m still clutching his shirt like I’ll drown if I let go. Ben slots his hips between my thighs and my heart skips a beat. Fuck—fuck.

 “So misbehaved,” he murmurs against my temple. His arm slips away from my back and grasps the arm of the couch behind my head. His nose brushes my cheek. “Look how easily you submit to me.” I clench his shirt as he kisses my jaw, lingering near my gland. “I don’t need to force you to do anything, Rey—but I will _thoroughly_ enjoy training you to accept the inevitable.”

I stare past his shoulder at the ceiling as he readjusts on the couch, slowly bringing his groin to rest on mine. I don’t feel a thing, then I feel his soft running pants on my inner thighs. My eyes widen.

Ben’s hard—I can feel it on my panties, thick and hot, and I dig my heels into the back of his thighs. Holy shit.

 “You have a smart mouth,” he whispers in my ear. His enormous body shifts forward a bit and drags his cock along my panties. I can’t help a pitiful whimper. “Maybe a ball gag is a good place to start—so you can learn to hold your tongue.”

Fear flutters in my stomach and gives me a shot of adrenaline that clears my head for a moment. Anger settles over just as fast and I bite the first thing my teeth can reach: Ben’s shoulder.

It’s not enough to draw blood, but I know it hurts. He huffs in surprise, warm breath on my gland, and groans a second later. I bite _harder_ , irritated that he’s getting pleasure out it instead of pain. He growls in his chest; a guttural sound that makes my instincts shriek at me to stop. I’m making him mad. It’s a bad idea.

Ben hisses in my ear. “You _bite,_ too, hm?”

I growl back at him like a kitten, pleased to be pissing him off, then—

He bites me back, right on the junction of my neck and shoulder.

It shouldn’t surprise me but I squeal in shock and immediately let go. Ben grunts and clenches down, dragging his huge body up the couch to keep me from flailing or going anywhere. Long fingers curl around my bare thigh and he chuffs into the skin like he’s satisfied with what he’s felt, but doesn’t let go, and pushes his hand further and further up. His hot palm drifts down to my calf and he holds tight, straining us together, grinding his erection against my slit.

Teeth click free. My skin throbs where he’s bitten me. He threads his long fingers in my hair and yanks hard, forcing me to arch my back.

 “You’re lucky that I don’t put you over my knee,” Ben snaps.

 “ _You’re_ lucky that I don’t bite your ear off!”

We struggle for a minute, which is mostly me struggling and trying not to admit that I’m a little turned on. I yowl and thrash and—

His phone rings.

 “Fuck,” Ben spits. He squeezes my calf, then swears again and slips away from me to answer it.

I scramble upright on the couch and grab the entire box of pizza when his back is turned. He snaps at whoever is on the other line as I skitter away with my prize, delicious greasy dinner, and pound up the stairs. I hear him behind me but slip into a spare bedroom and lock it before he catches me.

Ben huffs and hits the door. “I have a key, Rey.”

 “Whatever. I’ll eat the whole thing before you get in.”

He stalks off. I sit on the floor and pop open the box, quickly putting my bottomless stomach to use gorging myself on thin crust pizza. I know it’s not the food he’s after, but I feel better pretending it is.


	7. I'm not living

 “I’m not coming out until you provide soda for my pizza. Honestly— _water_? I should call the cops.”

 “Soda rots your teeth, Rey.”

 “Yeah, well, the bucket of grease in my stomach isn’t doing me any favors, either.”

Ben heaves a sigh on the other side of the door. He’s trying to wait for me to come out on my own, but that’s not happening. I’m almost done with the entire pizza out of pure spite. I could use a drink.

The lock clicks. “I’m going to be upset if you ate that entire pizza.” Crunch. “And amazed.”

 “Prepare to be amazed.”

The door swings open and he steps inside, raising an eyebrow when he sees me on the floor. The box is empty. I’m licking my fingers clean and running my tongue all over my lips, trying to be as obnoxious as possible. Everyone has a breaking point.

Ben smiles and puts his hands in his pockets. “Are you satisfied with yourself?”

I nod. Yup.

He looks around, twisting slightly at the hips. I’m too full to move very fast and I’m sleepy from all the food. I yawn and watch Ben skulk around the room with a passive smile on his face. I know I should make a break for it, but my stomach disagrees.

 “Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, you know.” He peers out the window, craning his neck. “Foggy tonight.”

 “So is lust.”

He glances back at me and I meet his gaze, unyielding.

Ben raises his eyebrows and resumes his stroll. “That’s true. Though I suppose _this_ —” He motions between us “—has more to do with greed and pride. Downfalls of the Alpha.”

I keep my eyes trained on him until he reaches the door. Casually, he reaches up one big hand and twists the lock, then leans on the door in one smooth motion. He returns his hand to his pocket and tilts his jaw. He’s looking down on me—literally.

 “Yet here we are,” I bite back.

 “Yes… here we are.”

It seems like something else should be said, but we lapse into silence. Ben studies me and I glare back at him. I’m not scared. I’m not even going to feign niceties anymore.

He chews inside his cheek, thinking deeply.

 “You want to go to New York, correct?”

 “I’m _going_ to New York.”

 “Mhm.” He folds his arms across his chest and completely blows me off. “I could bring you, if you’d like.”

I’m ready to lob an insult, so my jaw just kind of falls open at Ben’s words. Bring me? To New York?

I blink, struggling to collect myself. “Uh… why?”

 “So you can experience the world outside Elysian Fields.”

Bullshit. I keep gaping anyway, turning over the offer in my head. If he brings me, I can run away—obviously. No need to sneak out of town or find a train ticket. I can wait until he’s asleep one night and run off. It’s New York City. How can be possibly find me?

But it means we’ll be alone a lot, and I won’t have Rose or Kaydel. Not that it matters. I can hardly talk to them right now, anyway.

It’s a risk. Of course, running off in general is a risk. This way I’ll have protection, a warm place to sleep, and food. Even if I can’t run away immediately, I can get a feel for the city and figure out where exactly I want to flee. Scouting.

I narrow my eyes. “Is this a ploy to get me alone?”

Ben smiles, all smug.

 “I already have you alone, little one.”

…Fair enough—but New York is a long ways away. I’ll be truly isolated at that point.

 “What’s the catch?” I ask, because there’s a catch.

 “Two things.” He shrugs off the door and saunters up to me, nudging the pizza box aside with his foot. “First, if you try to run away during our little trip, I won’t let you go when I find you.” Ben raises his eyebrows. “ _When_ I find you. Not if.”

I scowl. I’m not crazy about the way he looms over me all the time. It feels like a vague threat.

 “Won’t let me go?” I echo. “Do you mean…?”

 “Yes. We’ll be mates.”

 “What if I don’t want to?”

 “You’ll get used to it.” Ben sits at the foot of the bed and clasps his hands in his lap. His feet are flat on the floor. “The second stipulation is you accepting proper punishment for eating an entire pizza—and biting me—and locking yourself in the bedroom.”

 _You’ll get used to it._ I bristle.

…But this is a good opportunity. Too good to pass up.

I keep gnawing my lower lip. “…And you won’t try anything?”

 “No.”

My heart pounds. I can leave Elysian Fields—I can see New York. I might be able to escape this hellhole.

But can I leave Rose and Kaydel behind?

 “What’s the punishment?” I ask. That’s important to know.

A weird look passes over Ben’s face, like he’s trapped me and I don’t realize it. I do. I’m always in a cage, though.

“I make good on my threat to put you over my knee.”

 “Oh. No thanks.” I stand in a hurry, wiping my hands on my nightgown. “No deal.”

Ben grabs me before I can blink. He yanks me by my wrist between his knees and I wobble, catching myself on his hard chest. I startle when he seizes my wrists and squeezes them in his bear paw hands, jaw clenched like he’s irritated.

He feigns a smile. His teeth are gritted.

 “Miss Messy.” Ben’s throat bobs and my wrists tremble in his grip. “I should give you something much more severe than a spanking.”

It’s intimidating being restrained by him, but he seems desperate to keep himself under control. He tugs me closer and holds my hands to his chest, forcing me to lean over, giving him an easy path to my neck. His breath makes my gland itch.

 “If you climb in my lap right now,” he whispers in my ear, “I won’t spank you.” Ben releases my wrists to grab my hips instead, bunching the fabric under his huge hands. He pushes it up towards my waist. “Keep the nightie on; keep the panties on. Just sit in my lap.”

My face is near his hair and I can smell whatever woodsy stuff he shampoos with. I resist the urge to smell him and straddle his thigh like a crazed dog in heat. He’s honor-bound for some reason, so I’ll make this as painful for him as it is for me.

I wriggle away. Ben stands when I back off about two feet and tries to follow. Now his shoulders are tight. He’s twice my size, towering over me like a fucking giant, and instinct tells me to back up or show him my throat. Be _submissive._

But I push my fingertip into the dead center of his chest, stopping him an arm’s length away from me. He licks his lips.

 “Fine,” I agree. I’m trembling. “Deal.”


	8. I’m just killing time

Ben hovers a little too much the next morning. He’s more Alpha than usual, cutting up my sugared ham into small bites and slicing a grapefruit while I eat. I can’t stand him dividing up my food like I’m an infant who might choke on it—and I can’t stand dreading when he’ll decide to spank me.

I narrow my eyes, judging the sleeveless black shirt he’s decided to wear. He hasn’t said much since last night even though he’s offered me an escape from the life I hate so much. No gloating. No offhand comments about us being alone in New York.

He pushes the grapefruit towards me, yawning. “Rose will be available for visitors later tonight. What would you like to do today, little one?”

I knock over the fruit on the floor like a pissy cat, sniffing and hopping off my chair. Ben doesn’t look my way but I see a smile twinge the corner of his mouth. I can’t win—if I’m docile he likes it, but if I’m a pain in the ass he _loves_ it.

 “I’ll go home and pack for New York,” I snip.

 “No. You’ll wear what I give you.” He taps his fingers on the counter. “Clean up your mess.”

I glare at him over my shoulder. I’m still wearing the nightgown and fluffy pink slippers that are decidedly _not_ my thing. He raises his eyebrow and gestures toward the grapefruit leaking juice on the floor.

Irritated, I set a hand on my hip, head tilted. “You can’t tell me what to do. That wasn’t part of our deal.”

 “Clean up your mess, Rey. Now.”

I bristle. “No!”

Ben heaves a sigh, rolling his eyes, and rises from his chair. He doesn’t look mad or tense but I know he’s not going to just let it go. I take a step back.

 “You really are a misbehaved brat, aren’t you?”

 “No, you just can’t keep telling me what to do.”

He quietly cleans up the grapefruit. The longer I stand in the doorway with my arms crossed, foot tapping, the more I realize it _was_ really shitty to knock his food on the floor. I shift my jaw as Ben calmly wipes up the sticky spot with a damp paper towel.

He washes his hands. I chew my inner cheek.

 “Sorry,” I mutter.

No response. Ben dries his hands without showing a shred of emotion and I feel unsettled again, like I did before he came on to me in the park. But this time Rose won’t appear and save me; I’m at the mercy of his volatile Alpha moods.

A muscle jumps in his cheek. “I want you to like me—it’s the least you deserve before I take you.” Ben grasps me gently by the elbow and tugs me toward the stairs, making me stumble. “But you’re out of control.”

_Get to New York. Get to New York._

I bite my tongue. I have to put up with this until we get to the city and I can run away.

Ben leads me to my bedroom and shuts the door with a soft click. My mind is already rolling over what he might do and it’s waking up the eager-to-please Omega in me. I pretend to itch my gland when he turns, worried he might use it against me.

He sits on the edge of the bed and sighs. “Come here, little one. I have to punish you.”

Fuck. I hesitate, glancing towards the door.

 “I don’t know,” I mumble. “Maybe—”

Ben grabs my wrist and drags me to stand between his knees. His hands are on me before I can react, pulling me in his lap and pushing me down on my stomach. I huff, reddening. Is he _serious_?

One arm slips under my collar bone; his hand cups my ass. “You need this. There are consequences for your actions—something Unkar must not have taught you.”

 “You—you can’t!”

 “I can and I will. You’ll learn.”

Warm fingers creep up my thigh, dragging the hem of my nightgown to the small of my back. I squirm in his lap, twisting back to look at him, but Ben’s gaze is focused on my ass. He smiles and squeezes one cheek, then his dark eyes flicker to mine.

We stare at each other for a second. I think he’s not going to and swallow just as his hand cocks back.

Ben smacks me more on the back of my thigh than my ass. It’s sharp and not as hard as I thought but still enough to make me gasp in shock. He shifts his arm over my shoulders to keep my chest flat over his thigh. I blink wildly from the pain.

 “I’m doing this because you like to talk back, Rey.” His voice is calm; forearm heavy on my shoulders. “If you talk back, you _will_ be punished.”

Another slap. This one is higher up and hits with a muffled sound. I bite hard on my lower lip to keep from crying out, determined to endure this without giving him a scrap of what he wants.

But something wails in the back of my head, horrified that an Alpha is upset with me. Disappointing an Alpha is the greatest sin an Omega can commit and this one’s decided I need to be punished. I grimace, trying to ignore the soft pull of instinct. 

Ben trails his nails down my thigh. It tingles, bordering on tickling, and I shiver as goosebumps follow his gentle movements.

 “You don’t own me,” I grit out. “You can’t do this!”

 “I can correct an aberrant Omega.”

This time I jump when he slaps me, tears beading in my eyes. Pain jolts down the back of my legs and up my spine, even when Ben rubs the spot he hits immediately after. Even worse is the distress springing up from that dark area in my mind that’s dampened under drugs.

They stream from the implant in my upper arm and keeps most of my Omega characteristics, like heat, from showing. But I can sense them bubbling up, fueled by Ben’s disappointment in me. I’ve never been so emotional; never worried about getting anyone’s approval.

  _alpha is displeased……._

I choke on a sob I didn’t know was coming. Fuck—I cover my mouth and scramble off his lap, stumbling back into the dresser. Tears well up and spill down my cheeks like someone else is being shoved in my brain and I’m sobbing before I can stop it.

Ben jerks to his feet, brow drawn. “I’m sorry.” He cages me against the dresser, knocking over framed pictures with a sweep of his huge hands. He lifts me up by the waist and settles me on top. “I’m sorry, little one—I’m sorry.”

 “Fuck you!” I snap. My knees hook under his ribs, back against the wall. “Get away from me!”

He doesn’t. The dresser rattles as Ben nudges my jaw and I huff and push on his chest, but resisting what he wants makes my skin crawl. I twist his shirt in my fists and he mumbles, soft lips brushing skin before his tongue laps across his target.

A shiver runs down my spine. I give one more frantic shove and slacken as Ben bites _gently_ on my gland—just enough to give pressure and make me aware. My body wilts and I whimper. No one’s ever done this to me before. I don’t know what to do.

He grunts back, wrapping a long around around my back and dragging me to the edge of the dresser. It traps my arms between and I realize I have nowhere to go: but that doesn’t scare me. Pleasure mixes with fear as Ben begins mouthing my gland rhythmically, wet push and pull. I jerk again.

 ”Ah—ah, ah…” He cups the back of my head to hold me in place and whispers in my ear. “None of that. Shh.” His arm slides down to my hips and he pulls again, pressing us flush together. My legs hook around his hips. “You’re okay.”

I’m dizzy. I barely register Ben threading his fingers through my hair as he resumes sucking, leaning on the dresser until it groans. Fingers batter on his waist but it doesn’t matter—he’s growling, nipping skin, and I can _taste_ his irritation. It burns.

It’s not right. The flavor is all wrong; makes me nauseous. I stop, puffing desperately and resisting my brain telling me to relax, because I don’t _want_ to relax; I don’t _want_ him to have this power over me.

But he does—because that’s biology, and that’s ‘the way it is.’ I weaken and sag against Ben, chin hooked over his shoulder, limp while he continues rolling my skin through his teeth. It’s like scratching an itch. My toes curl and I close my eyes, whining.

Purrs thrum through his chest that rumble into my bones. It’s hypnotic, lulling me deeper under his spell. He doesn’t move his hands much but his mouth stays sealed around my gland, sucking hard enough that I can feel a bruise blooming. I should try to run away and ignore the buzz of warmth trickling down my spine but I slide closer instead.

Ben releases, licking his lips. “Good Omega. Are you relaxing for me?” The haze ebbs back for a moment but not enough for me to squirm away. “I’m sorry—I don’t want to hurt you. That implant is confusing, isn’t it?”

 “—Fuck!” I spit, heaving, resisting the urge to rub up on him like a cat in heat. “ _Fuck!_ ”

 “I know. I know.”

He kisses me. I scrape my nails through his shirt and kiss him back despite myself, compelled by the Omega blood singing in my veins. Ben _knows_ he’s overwhelming me. I can tell by how fast he’s going; trying to flood my brain until I can’t think straight. I wonder if this is how it happened with Rose and Kaydel.

He breaks away, pressing his forehead to mine. A hand curves under my jaw and squeezes.

 “I’m sure you’re a little sore,” Ben murmurs. “I’m going to bring some lotion to help, and you’re going to lie quietly and let me put it on.” He swallows, voice lowering. “You’re going to let me help you.”

 “…Okay.”

Disoriented, I lilt into his arms as he scoops me off the dresser. We turn and I’m lying on my stomach with my face in the pillows. He sweeps out of the room and so does his Alpha scent, leaving me to gather my wits about me—but it’s not that easy.

I’m still confused when Ben returns. He climbs into bed behind me and slips my panties down to my knees, clicking his tongue when I hiss in pain. It’s weird that I didn’t notice on the dresser.

 “I only spanked you three times. Why the tears, little one?” Something squirts.

 “I’m… it’s confusing,” I mutter.

 “Did you like it?”

 “N-No! No!”

Both hands cup my ass suddenly and I squeak in shock. Ben laughs and holds me firm by the hips until I still again. He runs his rough palms over and down my thighs, smearing cool lotion along with his strokes. I shudder. It feels like I’m coming off a drug.

For the first time, the gland aches under my jaw. I’m not sure what to make of it. I know I have to be in heat for anything permanent but I feel… odd.

Ben massages for a bit which admittedly feels nice. I wait for him to try something but his fingers don’t wander beyond my butt—which I find shocking. I still have a mostly strange man rubbing lotion on my butt after spanking me for ‘talking back.’

I’m mad. Fucking angry. But I need him to bring me to New York. I scowl into my pillow and try not enjoy what’s happening. I’m _mad._ He’s violating me and he doesn’t own me. He can’t tell me what to do.

He slides his hands up my back, circling my ribs. The bed creaks as Ben crawls up my body and straddles my waist. I feel his breath on the back of my head.

 “Was that nice?” he whispers. I grit my teeth and nod. “Mm. I know you’re upset with me, little one.” The tip of his tongue traces along the shell of my ear and he dips his lips to my gland. “I can taste it.”

Ben bites. It sends me into a whimpering flurry again, squirming under him as he settles his hands on either side of my head. He growls and bites and I arch my lower back in a daze, instinct screaming at me: _angryalphaangryalpha_

His hips slot against my ass and he presses in, hard cock warm through his pants. I shudder and pant as Ben slowly loosens his grip.

 “You’ll learn to like me. Bit…” He punctuates his words with kisses along my shoulder. “By… bit…”

This time when he leaves me, I don’t roll over and cover up. I lie there without moving and reach a hand underneath my body between my legs.

Something thick and warm oozes from inside me. I touch it, smearing some on my inner thigh. Slick. I shouldn’t be making any slick.


	9. Your tiny hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> g a s p

We visit Rose in the hospital. She’s up and breastfeeding when I enter the room but before I can turn and push Ben out, he’s swept around me to investigate. It’s a big fancy suite like a hotel room and she looks happy in her big bed.

Finn is lying in the bed with her of course, eyes closed, smiling. He has an arm around her waist and he’s rubbing her stomach under the sheet while she chats with Ben and feeds her infant. It’s bizarre. It doesn’t look right at all.

I hover a couple feet away and feel like I shouldn’t be here. These are adults—I don’t belong. I rub my neck and stroke my sensitive gland, now bruised from Ben sucking on it. My ass fucking hurts, too.

No, these aren’t adults. These people are fucking freaks. They’re aberrant. Not me.

 “Rey, come see! The baby won’t bite.”

I glance at Rose and smile awkwardly as I walk over to see. Ben makes a joke about babies not having teeth and Finn laughs, shaking his head and kissing Rose’s shoulder. She beams and shifts a bit.

 “See how well Paige latches?” She shrugs and I can see the baby’s mouth wrapped around her nipple. “She’s doing so well. I can’t wait for you to have your own, Rey.”

 “We can sync up the next one,” Finn murmurs, dark eyes flickering to Ben. “Wouldn’t it be nice for the girls to have each other?”

Ben claps his huge hands on my shoulders. I startle at the possessive touch and Finn smirks at something in his fellow Alpha’s expression. Impregnating teenage girls is like a fucking game to them. They think it’d be cute to knock us up at the same time, so their caged birds have someone to sing to.

 “You’ll be waiting another year, my friend,” Ben replies. He squeezes. “Rules are rules, after all.”

I do my best to be a good friend and hang around until I can’t take anymore. Ben kisses Rose’s forehead and claps Finn on the back on our way out.

Everything is falling away and I can’t stop it. I have to get out of here.

We stop at the nurse’s station so Ben can sign some paperwork on one of his patients. He laughs along with another doctor and I hover by the wall, wringing my hands and pretending the nurses aren’t staring at me. They’re all Betas who don’t quite understand demi-humans.

It’s our “culture” to be married off and mated young, but its total horseshit. They think it’s as gross as I do, and I’m sure they can see the hickies on my throat.

Ben looks the part of a highly educated Alpha, dressed in clean slacks and a blue twill shirt, black hair drawn into a ponytail: but it’s a charade. He’s an animal. Manipulative, aggressive, and selfish. I’d rather die than be stuck being his mate.

 “We can leave in a few days. Things need to be shuffled around to cover my absence.”

I click my seatbelt on in his Tesla. He’s texting someone, half paying attention to me. Some brain surgeon _he_ is.

 “Fine,” I snip. “You can bring me back to Unkar’s.”

 “Are you sure? I won’t be home most of the day—you can read whatever books you like and eat whatever food you like. Paint.”

 “You’ll be home at _night_ , though.”

Ben strokes his index finger across his Cupid’s bow, smiling faintly. “I will be, yes. We won’t have any issues as long as you behave.”

I roll my eyes and glare out the window. There’s no point in arguing about it. He’ll get his way no matter what I try to do to avoid it. My only escape at this point is running away when he brings me to New York—or I have a lifetime of humiliation to look forward to.

Ben makes dinner when we get home and I refuse to eat. I storm upstairs to my bedroom, slam the door shut, and change into one of my many nightgowns. I pace the floor and chew my nails to the quick. I have to endure more time here, not to mention the trip to New York, _and_ figure out how to slip away unnoticed.

It won’t be easy. I’ll have to grab cash, too. Can’t use his credit cards or he’ll find me.

Thankfully, he doesn’t bother me the rest of the night. He’s even gone when I tiptoe downstairs in the morning to make breakfast.

There’s a quiche on the counter with a slice taken out and a note taped to the plastic wrap. I throw it away without looking but dig into the food. It doesn’t even need to be heated up—it’s delicious, and I’m hungry as hell. I take a couple slices out to the living room and watch television for a while.

It’s quiet. Still. This is the type of day I like painting, with fog clinging to the grass and an overcast gray sky. I chew and look out the window, past Ben’s lawn furniture and fire pit to the small building on the edge of his property. That’s where I can go paint.

I squint and look around. Maybe I’ll go check it out.

Ben’s bedroom is open so I grab a pair of his sweatpants and roll them up past my ankles. It gives me some extra protection from the cold, at least. I hold my breath to keep out the Alpha pheromones while I change, worried I might drip more slick. He’ll _definitely_ pick up on it in his bedroom.

I slip into my flats and head across the yard to the outbuilding. It unlatches and the door swings out toward me, groaning on the hinges. I peer inside.

It’s cold, but I smell fresh paper and new paints. I grope along the wall until I stumble across a light switch. Recessed lights flicker to life, spilling a warm glow across the small space, casting a glare on the two windows. They overlook the forest beyond the building and I’m suddenly struck by a weird urge to run and never look back.

Instead, I use my typical escape and paint.

They’re not my paints or brushes (to my chagrin, they’re better) but I settle in well enough. The easel rests between both windows and has a comfortable chair and before I know it, twilight is falling across the forest and changing the color of my paints.

It’s nothing fancy, just a quick watercolor of the woods. I squint out the window until it’s too dark to get anything more done, then stow everything back in drawers and cabinets. I’m _hungry._ I got so distracted painting that I didn’t even notice.

I turn and yelp.

Ben’s leaning on the wall with his arms folded. He’s still wearing green scrubs and smiles when I splutter and try to collect myself.

 “How—how long—?”

 “I’ve been here for about half an hour. You’re very single-minded, little one.” He tilts his head, admiring my painting. “Very nice. Is it finished?”

 “…No. Sorry I used your stuff.”

He shrugs off the wall, sauntering across the creaky floor to the easel. I watch him peer out the window.

 “It’s for your use, Rey. I hardly have the time.” Ben squints at the tree line. He’s calculating. “We can see the Met in New York while we’re there. I do love art. I’d like to frame this piece when you’re done with it.”

I redden. “It’s… not that great.”

 “It is. And _you_ made it.” He leans back and brushes a fingertip along the edge of the paper. “I’ll keep every scrap of paper you scribble on.”

Even my rational brain melts a little at that. I huff, feigning annoyance, because he literally spanked me and rubbed lotion on my ass the day before. He’s a dick. I’m not that easy to win over.

Ben smiles at my silence. He clasps his hands behind his back and approaches, looming in my space that’s already cramped in the small building. I blink up at him and wonder what he’s trying to pull.

 “Are you familiar with the art of kintsugi?”

 “Um… no.”

 “Traditional Japanese art—repairing broken pottery with veins of gold or silver. Mending a broken thing by filling in the cracks with something lustrous and strong. Sometimes the fixed piece is more beautiful than the original.”

Ben cups my jaw in one big hand. It’s sudden but not sharp or painful. He searches my eyes for a second before he kisses me, just once on the lips. I close my eyes and find myself leaning closer into the warmth and softness and comfort.

He brushes his lips across mine. It makes goosebumps prickle up my arms.

 “Sometimes it’s best to break beautiful things and piece them back together—reconstruct them.” A hand touches my lower back, then drifts down to lightly squeeze my ass. “Create something unique.”

My breath hitches and I tilt forward, pressing against Ben’s hard body. He nuzzles my temple and shifts his hips just enough that I feel his cock stroke across my belly. He breathes gently in my ear and waits a moment before speaking again.

 “You were in my room,” he murmurs. “Naughty little thing.” Ben bears his weight forward and I’m pushed into the wall. He moves his hips again, rolling his cock hard into my stomach. I whimper. “Spreading your pheromones all over my home. Minx.”

 “I didn’t—mean to!”

 “Mm. Stealing my clothes, too. Very naughty—I should punish you.” His fingertips curl my hair behind my ear and he sighs. “But you were otherwise good today, so I think you deserve a break.”

Thank god. I nod as Ben lets me away from the wall. He motions for me to leave the studio first and follows close behind across his lawn. I can smell dinner cooking, scent wafting through the open window, but I feel nauseous all over again.


	10. Your crazy kitten smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drag this on forever??? well sure !

New York comes sooner rather than later, which is a bit of an emotional mixed bag. I’m excited to see the city and even more excited for the potential to escape, but I’ll miss Rose and Kaydel terribly. They seem happy, though. They like this life.

Ben packs me a suitcase and a carryon with the clothes he wants me to wear. I grin and bear it. I have no other choice. I’m still nervous from him catching me painting a few days prior and our weird interaction in the studio. It’s been easy ignoring him up until now but… I’m starting to respond.

We sit together on the living room couch the night before we leave, just watching television. Ben leans against the arm on the opposite side and I try my best to ignore him. He’s in his mid-30s. This is totally insane. Ridiculous. He’s looking for a pump and dump.

He flips to another channel. “I had your painting framed.”

I stiffen. Son of a…

Ben casts a smug smirk my way and settles into his spot. He wants a reaction. He wants me to be mad.

I clench my jaw. “That’s so nice of you. Thanks.”

 “Of course. I’d like to fill our home with your artwork.” He stops on the History Channel and yawns. “After we’re mates, of course. And I’ve bred you.”

I jerk off the couch, storming upstairs to my bedroom. Ben makes no move to follow me but I know I’ve lost again. He just… gets under my fucking _skin_.

Familiar sticky wetness has soaked my panties when I change out of them and I hide the evidence in my bottom drawer. The slick is coming more freely now and I’m too afraid to tell Ben about it. What if my suppressants are failing? If I go into heat, it’s game over. I have nowhere to run.

I tremble as I change into a nightgown and clean panties. I don’t know how to stop the slick—sex ed classes aren’t really a thing for Omegas beyond some knowledge of how suppressants work. We’re supposed to let the Alphas handle it for us; not question what they decide is best.

Ben knocks once before opening the door. He’s changed as well into black track pants and a baggy white t-shirt that shows off the thick muscles in his arms. He folds them over his chest and smiles.

 “Going to bed?”

 “Yes.” I tug back my sheets and wave. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

 “Mm. We’ll catch a flight to JFK and go to the hotel from there.” He pushes inside his cheek and clicks his tongue. My spine prickles. “You’ve been a bit nervous the last few days. Anything wrong?”

 “No.”

Ben saunters through the room to my dresser. I’m already under the covers and have my legs crossed, hoping it will hide the scent of the slick.

He crouches and opens the bottom drawer where my panties are hidden. My face burns from embarrassment as he hooks them over his pinky finger, dangling them with a smug smile. Shit.

 “What’s this?” Ben asks innocently.

I scowl. “My underwear?”

He raises an eyebrow but doesn’t respond. For second I hope he’ll leave but that’s a pipe dream as always.

Omega brain screams with equal parts terror and excitement as Ben comes closer. I shrink back into my pillows. My traits still aren’t fully expressed so he can’t bite me and make us mates, but that doesn’t stop him from invading my space.

 “You said you wouldn’t come on to me!” I snap, trying to be brave.

 “Only in New York—home is a different issue entirely. You’re hiding things from me, little one. Important things.”

Ben tears back my covers. I jerk away in shock, revealing a small damp spot on the sheets from slick.

He seizes my forearm when I try to flee. I’m humiliated and _furious_ but he’s too strong for me to pull away from. An unwanted flash of emotion bubbles up a sob in my throat—I’ve failed him, or so my instincts tell me, and that’s horrible.

 “Messy girl,” he chastises gently. My anxious strangled sobbing doesn’t seem to deter him. I struggle again and he clenches his jaw, smiling as he holds me firm. “Remember what I said, Rey? Break things down to build them back up.”

Ben kisses me hard on the lips. He grabs my head in both hands and leans over as I scramble to grasp his wrists. Blood pulses in my ears.

His tongue dips in my mouth, deepening the kiss, and I fall flat on my back, knees hanging off the edge of the bed. I can’t resist. I’m a slave to hormones again. This must have been what happened to Rose and Kaydel—it’s like sliding down a slippery slope.

But it feels good. Feels right. I grab the front of his shirt and hitch my calves on Ben’s hips as he paws his way on to the bed with me, knees nudging me forward so he can fit between them. He smells better than anything; like home and safety. Pheromones.

He breaks our kiss; curls his long fingers around my throat. Lightly. Just enough.

 “You deserve another punishment,” Ben whispers. He gazes at my mouth as his fingers creep higher and curve under my jaw, and he brushes his lips across mine. “What should I do to you, hm? Another spanking?”

 “Why is this happening?” I whisper back. “I… I have the implant!”

Apparently he doesn’t like my question. He shushes me as he dips his lips to my itchy gland, settling his weight on mine, and hazy calm ebbs across my mind. I whimper and curl my toes. He’s rolling my gland through his teeth, chest thrumming with purrs. Hot hardness presses against my panties.

Ben groans—a deep throaty sound I’ve never heard before. Panting, I claw at his broad back and twist my neck away from his mouth, unsettled by what he’s doing and the noises he’s making. His lips part with a wet smack and he murmurs in my ear.

 “Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of you.” He kisses the corner of mouth, panting and moving, rubbing against me. I huff through my teeth. “Maybe this is enough punishment.”

 “What—what are you doing?”

Ben grasps my thigh, grinding harder between my legs. “Shh… this will feel good. This will feel good.”

It’s hard to argue and it _does_ feel good. I bury my face in his warm neck; feel the throb of his pulse on my cheek. He breathes in soft hot pants on my temple, thrusting slow and rhythmic, and I tighten my thighs around his hips. Feels good. I’ve never done anything like this before but… it feels _good._

Ben stops purring. He’s holding his weight on a forearm and growling under his breath whenever I make a subtle whimper or squirm, and I’m eagerly canting my hips into his. Soon I break a sweat and paw his shirt higher to his mid-back where I feel a thin film of sweat on him, too.

I push the arch of my foot down his calf, struggling closer, chasing something my instincts scream at me to chase. Ben shifts higher on the bed and now he’s moving just right and the tension suddenly snaps.

Muscles flutter; I gasp against his shoulder and squirm faster. It’s warm and satisfying like a back scratch, but ripples through my stomach and down to my toes. I rub frantically against Ben for the couple seconds it lasts and barely hear him mumbling in my ear.

 “That’s it—come for me, little one.”

My toes curl and I bite my lower lip, then it’s over as fast as it started and I’m left with an empty feeling. Dirty, maybe.

I catch my breath as Ben slips away from me. His broad chest rises and falls slightly under his T-shirt and he offers me another smile. Hands tug my gown’s hem to my thighs, then he reaches up.

He pulls my panties down, sliding over my hip bones and off my feet. I stare, still panting and swallowing to wet my dry throat, as Ben casually stuffs my underwear in his pocket with the other pair.

He winks, smiling. “You liked that, hm?” Big hands cup my bare knees and he looms over me. His dark eyes linger on mine. “So did I. Should stop the slick for a while.” He palms the bulge in his pants; licks his lips. “I’ll be thinking of you when I fill these pretty panties with cum. See you in the morning.”

I’m too shaken up to make a snippy remark. Ben kisses my forehead and leaves me alone in my bed, trembling, humiliated, and confused. I want to go home.


	11. Just don’t leave

It’s an odd thing leaving behind Elysian Fields.

Rose and Kaydel wish me a safe and happy trip but they’re too busy with their babies to do much else. Ben stops by the hospital to hold Paige again and I don’t miss the weird longing in his eyes. I shudder and look _anywhere_ but at him.

We board a plane and it hits me: I’m leaving, even if it isn’t for very long. I’m leaving everything and everyone I know and might never come back.

Ben sits next to me in a plush first-class seat. He’s dressed in a nice twill blue shirt and jeans and has me as his pretty arm candy in a dress down to my knees. I glare out the window while the other passengers board, irritated that he has me done up. My hair is clean in a ponytail and I’m wearing _jewelry._

He heaves a sigh. “Here we go, little one—off to the big city.”

Whatever. I roll my eyes and ignore him pretending he’s making some big sacrifice for me. I’ll wait a few days before I try running off. I need to strike at the right moment if I want to escape, even if it means I won’t see my best friend’s for a long time.

Tears burn in my eyes and I hurriedly wipe them away. I’ll see Rose and Kaydel again—someday. Maybe not soon; maybe not before their babies are grown, but someday. I’ll make sure of it.

Ben closes our small privacy door after the plane takes off. He nurses a tumbler of scotch and reads a book while I watch Disney movies. I’ve never been on a plane but it’s pretty boring. Clouds float past, puffy and white, and every once in a while the whole thing quivers. Our flight only takes a few hours.

I’m still humiliated by what happened last night. I let him dry hump me and actually came like a freak, and he told me he was jerking off on my underwear. I redden at the memory and wring my hands. Gross.

Gross enough that I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ben turns to me when the sun is low and night has fallen. We have an hour left.

He glances toward the privacy door. “Almost there, Rey. We have a hotel in Manhattan.” Then he clicks his tongue and smiles. “Want to have a little fun before we land?”

 “No.”

 “Hm. I do.”

Ben drags me from my seat into his lap. His reclines back and I’m on top of him, quickly restrained by an arm around my waist. He unbuckles his belt, humming in my ear, then cups his hand over the back of my head. I can barely breathe.

 “Keep your voice down,” he whispers. “We don’t want an audience, do we?”

My eyes widen when I feel him already hard between my legs. Ben slides his arm down to pin my hips to his and pulls my thin airline blanket over my back. He adjusts in the seat, still humming under his breath, then settles back, straining our bodies together.

He rolls his hips. I squeeze my eyes shut for the first couple minutes, determined not to give him what he wants—but it feels good.

His cock strokes me through our underwear, belt clinking each time he moves. He squeezes my ass to help guide my movements and I whimper into his shoulder. His shirt smells like spicy cologne.

Ben nuzzles my temple, breath hot on my skin. “How did you sleep last night after I made you come? Did you touch yourself when I left?” I squirm in his lap and he shushes me with a soft laugh. “Ah, ah—none of that. We’re not in New York yet, so I’m keeping you right here until you come for me again.”

 “Screw _you_ ,” I hiss.

 “You know,” he continues, voice low, “I touched myself when I went back to _my_ bedroom. I thought about you in your pretty dresses, trying to drive me off in the endearing way you do.” Ben kneads my ass with one hand, pushing harder. “And I thought about that little spot of slick on your sheets you tried to hide from me—your soft body squirming under mine.”

A tingle of pleasure settles in the small of my back. He’s an asshole but it’s still kind of hot that he got off thinking about me. I swallow and bury my face in his neck, inhaling the scent of Alpha, and he cups the back of my head with a satisfied murmur.

 “You like that, Rey?” he muses. Ben kisses the side of my head and I’m moving on my own, rubbing against him like a horny dog. “Don’t try to hide your accidents from me—don’t try hiding your heat. If you do again, I’m going to hold you down and come in whatever pretty pair of panties you’re wearing, and you’re going to keep wearing them. Understand?”

My head swims. I only vaguely nod, now mouthing blindly at his warm skin and chasing the flicker of climax. Hindbrain takes over and drives me to keep moving; keep rolling my hips to satisfy the curl of desire pooling between my legs.

Ben twists my hair in his fist. I whimper in pain, momentarily distracted from humping him.

His voice drops, gravelly and commanding. “I _said_ : understand?”

 “Yes—yes—”

 “Yes _what_?”

I wince. “A-Alpha.”

 “Good girl.” He releases, petting my head gently. “Keep kissing my neck, little one. It’s very sweet.”

I’m sloppy as hell but do what he says. Ben rubs my back under my dress when I finally come, huffing and panting against the wet skin on his neck. My hips twist and I buck while he mumbles for me to keep quiet. Pleasure radiates to the tips of my toes up to where he’s nuzzling my scalp.

He settles me in my seat again with the blanket. I’m quivering, drowsy and sated, and only vaguely hear him say he’ll be right back. His belt clinks and the door slides open and shut.

Ben comes back just before landing. He gathers our things into his carry on and winks.

 “Couldn’t walk around with blue balls all day. Doesn’t make for a fun vacation.”

I wrinkle my nose in distaste. Ugh.

First class is let off first of course. I follow Ben down the narrow hall to the exit, heart pounding with excitement, but a stewardess stops us before we walk off. I peer around his arm curiously.

She smiles, totally at ease. “Your Omega, sir. Please collar her before disembarking.”

My stomach does a flip. _What_?

Ben sighs and shakes his head with a laugh. “Forgive me—I forgot the laws are different up north.” Then he turns, looming over me with a wide smile, and I know he didn’t forget. “Rey, dear: can you lift your ponytail for me?”

I glance between the three sets of eyes staring down at me. The stewardess gives me a look between revulsion and derision, but keeps smiling. The pilot leans on the cockpit doorframe and chews his gum.

I step back. “I’m—I’m not wearing a collar.”

 “It’s the law, sweetheart. We can’t allow Omegas to scurry around on their own, now can we?”

Ben laughs with the other two and produces a black collar from his pocket. It has a silver tag hanging from the front with my name, his name, and a phone number. It also has a lock.

Bile rises up my throat and I’m sure I’m about to puke. I keep shaking my head, backing up until I bump into another passenger who jerks away like I burned them. They don’t move—I can’t run through Ben and I can’t run to the back of the plane.

He seizes my forearm. “Come now, Rey; don’t be difficult. You wanted to visit New York, remember?” Ben leans over to look me dead in the eyes. He’s still smiling. “And here we are.”

 “Let go!” I snap. I struggle, pawing at his hand. “Let—let go of me!”

 “I’ll hold her still,” offers the pilot. “We’ll have to call the police if you disembark without her collared.”

They descend on me, sighing and laughing about how difficult I’m being. I scream and lash out as the pilot twists my arms behind my back, looping his legs around mine to keep me upright. Ben hums a tune as he loops the collar around my throat and it closes with a soft click. He turns it so the tag is up front.

I burst into hysterical tears. The stewardess pats my back when Ben scoops me up like a toddler throwing a tantrum. He thanks her and the pilot before we step off the plane and all I can do is sob and sob into his neck. The metal tag is cold on my throat.

 “I know,” Ben soothes, rubbing my back. He tugs down the hem of my dress. “I know, little one. You wanted to see New York so badly—I couldn’t break your little heart.”

 “I hate you! I _hate you_!”

 “No you don’t. You’re just throwing a hissy fit.” He carries me through the airport, lips near my ear. “Maybe after our trip you’ll appreciate how comfortable your life is back in Elysian Fields. You have no idea how good you’ve got it, Rey.”

I keep my face hidden in Ben’s neck while he gets our luggage. He picks up a cab when I’m reduced to sniffles and trembling, but doesn’t set me down as he slides into the back seat. I’m too angry and upset to do anything but cry.

This was supposed to be my great escape to freedom, but all I’ve done is lock myself in a smaller cage.


	12. Don’t leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> porn

The sounds of the city quickly overwhelm me. I bury my face in Ben’s neck even though I want to wring it, trembling and squeezing my eyes shut during the short trip to our hotel. He purrs and kisses my temple whenever he can but it doesn’t help curb my anxiety.

This is _horrible_. For the first time in my life I want to go home to Elysian Fields and Unkar; back to the comfort of repelling Ben’s advances. The collar is cold and tight around my throat, all my fears of captivity turned into a physical object to choke me. It would be a heinous thing back home—here it’s expected.

Ben exchanges some chatter with a woman and we take an elevator upstairs. He unlocks a door that clicks open and carries me inside our room. I still haven’t lifted my head. I can’t bear to look.

 “Our luggage will be here shortly,” he murmurs. The door locks. “I’ll have dinner brought up to us. What are you hungry for, little one?”

Nothing. I don’t want food. I shudder and curl under Ben’s chin and he clicks his tongue, but says nothing.

He sets me on a big bed in the middle of an enormous room. I turn on my stomach, burying my face in soft pillows before I have to see most of the place. Maybe I can starve myself to death here so I never have to go back home; never have to tolerate a life being a possession and a play thing.

Ben leans over me, planting a hand on the pillow I’m clutching. He traces a fingertip along the collar and I wish I could disappear into the bed.

 “Don’t pout on vacation,” he whispers. “Think of this as a little preview to what marriage will be like.” Warm breath tickles the nape of my neck as he presses a gentle kiss to my skin. “If you don’t change your attitude, I’m going to punish you.”

I curl into a tight ball, trying to shrink away from his threat of another spanking. There’s no one here to help me—no Maz or Rose or Kaydel. I’m at sea.

Ben sighs. “It’s not so bad, honey. Here everyone sees you as a fragile little creature who needs protection, even if you disagree. So _progressive_ of the Northerners, protecting people from themselves. Wouldn’t want an Omega wandering into the wrong hands, would we?”

 “I hate you,” I whisper, voice breaking. “I… I think you’re pure fucking evil.”

 “Well I’m not responsible for the laws, Rey, but I do have to abide by them.”

Fear burns off into anger. I scramble away from Ben, stumbling out of bed into our opulent hotel room. He smiles as he sits up straight to watch me teeter past the window with a skyline view on Manhattan. I want to break his face—I want to _scream_.

So I do. I scream and start throwing whatever I can get my hands on, flinging vases and fake flowers against the walls while Ben watches calmly from the bed. He yawns at one point and checks his phone. I’m not getting the reaction I want him to give me that he always keeps under wraps.

Someone knocks on the door after I’m panting and sitting on the floor. I rip off my jewelry and throw it across the room, breaking down into frustrated sobs. What if he’s never going to take me home? What if he just went back to drag me _here_?

Ben comes back from the door with a small cart. There’s two trays of food with silver lids and what looks like a bottle of wine. He smiles down at me, parking the cart beside a small table with two chairs. I sniffle and rub my nose.

 “Why did you come back to Elysian Fields?” I ask. “Are… are we going back home after this?”

He ignores me. It’s so frustrating that I start crying all over again, slumping to the side in defeat. He’s not going to tell me—he’s keeping me in the dark. I’m not going to know what’s happening until the instant it happens, and I can’t do anything to stop it.

Ben approaches me and I hardly see him before he’s dragging me off the floor by my armpits. I twist and shriek to make it that much harder for him, snapping blind whenever I see his hands or thick forearms, but he wrestles me to one the bed. No one’s coming. No one cares about the noise.

He bends me over the edge. “You’re always home when you’re with me, honey. It’s not a place—it’s a _feeling_.”

Ben pushes my head down with one big hand and promptly spanks me hard with the other. He twists his palm to cover my gasp as I jerk forward, clawing at the comforter. Fuck— _fuck_ , that hurts!

He smacks me twice more before he’s breathing in my hair, heavy body draping over mine. I puff into his palm, wincing on the fourth slap, and I’m not surprised to feel him getting hard against my ass. Ben keeps my mouth covered, swallowing hard in my ear as he kneads the sore cheek in his hand.

 “If I were pure fucking evil, I’d be fucking you right now,” he whispers against my temple. Then he spanks me again and exhales sharply through his teeth. “I even told you _multiple times_ to embrace your gilded cage in Elysian Fields—but you’re too much of a stubborn bitch to listen to common sense.”

“So you can keep fighting me at every turn, and I’ll keep punishing you for your tantrums, and we’ll see how long it takes you to give in to me.”

The spanking resumes. I squeeze my eyes shut and grit my teeth until he’s satisfied, leaving my bottom throbbing and sore under gentle, torturous touch. I’m not giving in. I’m not giving up. Even though my instincts want to wail from disappointing him, I’m not giving in to them.

Ben tugs my hips to his and drapes across my back. He doesn’t say anything, just holds my hips with both hands and keeps me in place when I struggle. He groans into my neck as he humps against my sensitive behind, and I’m sure my whimpers of pain don’t do unnoticed. His fingers dig into my hip bones.

It’s degrading in an even worse way than being spanked. Ben’s breaths pick up and he mouths sloppily at my neck, seeking out my gland under my jaw, but I twist my face away to hide it. I hate the way his rhythmic thrusts make me feel and I hate that I want to arch into him.

He fumbles with his belt. Like on the plane, I feel the soft fabric of his briefs against my thighs and the heat of his cock. It makes my head swim; toes curling on the floor where they barely reach.

This shouldn’t feel good. Pain mixes a heady cocktail in my head with the pleasure of him pinning me to the bed, and the swirl of pheromones, and knowing he’s bigger and stronger than me. I growl and resist but Ben growls deeper and worms his way to my gland. He licks and I shiver, struggling to close my legs. Stop feeling good… stop feeling good…

 “I think I’ll have you wear the collar when I _do_ mount you,” he murmurs, kissing my shoulder. “Maybe use a leash to help you arch your back and present nice for me. You’ll look so lovely in lordosis.”

 “…F-Fine.” Refusing just eggs him on.

Ben suddenly pulls me off the bed and drops to the floor on his knees, shoving my face down on my carpet. He finds my gland against and sucks and sucks until I feel an odd tingle down my spine, driving me to arch my back. Fuck no. I’m not doing that.

He reaches a hand under my dress and tickles my tailbone in a light circle. “Come on, baby. You know you want to.” Wet kisses torment my gland until I feel a traitorous trickle of slick down my inner thigh. “Arch up for me. Our dinner is getting cold.”

The floor digs into my knees as I shift my weight back and flatten my chest further down. Ben pins my hands with his and purrs approvingly, now only able to roll his hips with the way his cock slots against my bottom. He gathers both wrists in one hand and smooths the other up the curve of my back, then around the front to trace my taut stomach.

 “Look at you,” he whispers. “Such a good girl when you want to be.” His thumb nail traces the underside of my breast, but he fans his palm on my stomach instead of moving further. “Warm little pussy, too—but I won’t touch you with my fingers until you ask.”

 “Fuck you,” I spit.

 “You’re in much too compromising a position to be using words like that, Rey.”

 “You’re already a—kidnapper. And a…” My voice hitches as Ben idly teases the underside of my other breast. “ _Pedophile._ Might as well be a rapist, too.”

Ben laughs lightly, sliding his hand between my legs to gather a bit of slick from my inner thigh. He rubs it in a gentle circle at the base of my spine again, drawing whimpers from my throat and making me buck against his thrusts. It tingles like having an inch scratched and I can’t resist.

He breathes another laugh. “That would make me pure fucking evil, little one. Besides, I like all this rubbing and teasing. Takes me back.” Ben pins both hands again, panting and lengthening his strokes. My spine prickles. “ _Christ_ , Rey. I’m going to come—do you want to with me?”

I swallow hard and shake my head. “No.”

 “Why not? You’re going to get all pent up if you don’t.” He brushes my stomach with his fingertips again. “You can rub against my hand.”

 “I’m… I’m not doing that!”

Ben huffs. He’s trembling, hips stuttering now when he thrusts. Before he can say anything else I feel a twitch and hear him grunt, and realize he’s coming. I’ve never heard it before and the sound of his raspy gasps of pleasure makes me shiver.

 “ _Rey_ — _Rey_ —” Ben locks an arm around my hip bones, holding me still while he grinds against my ass. Sticky wetness dribbles down and I feel some squirting higher, way up by my shoulder blades.

He keeps thrusting for a couple seconds before finally stopping. I lie on the floor and struggle to catch my breath. It’s done; it’s over.

Ben heaves a sigh against my neck. “Good girl… good girl.” He kisses my temple and takes a trembling breath, slowly leaning back. “Oof—looks like I may have been a tad overexcited. I’ll keep these pretty panties for myself, I think.”

I slump to the floor as he peels them off, wiping up a couple spots on my back as well. Ben gets to his feet and leaves me lying there with nothing more than a kiss to the back of my head.

My skin crawls where his sticky residue remains, but the slick trailing down my thighs is even more revolting. I curl into a ball and cover my head, resolving to never eat a bite of food again.


	13. And true love waits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheheeh

There’s no shortage of places open after dark in the city. Ben drags me out after I’m done eating what he can force down my throat and all the bright lights and noise outside keep me stunned at his side. It’s overwhelming. I’d never be able to survive in a place like this. Why did I ever think I could?

He keeps his hand tight around mine as he guides me to a small building wedged between two others. A big man in black stands outside but nods and steps aside when he sees Ben, and I feel his eyes linger on my collar. I drop my gaze to the pavement, thoroughly humiliated. I stick out like a sore thumb in a dress and flat shoes; it’s obvious I’m some country bumpkin.

Ben pulls me into a narrow, dimly lit hallway. He frees me of my coat and slips out of his own, offering them to some unseen person, then we progress down the hall across maroon carpet. My heartbeat echoes in my stomach but I refuse to cling to Ben for safety. It smells like potpourri and I pick up on the vague tang of Alpha pheromones obscured underneath.

The hall is lined with doors that have red or green lights near the handles. I frown, confused at first. What is this place? A hotel?

We stop at a door further down. Ben flashes a keycard to the handle and the light flickers green, followed by a lock clicking open. He pockets the keycard and steps inside, gently guiding me along behind him.

The air is thick with acrid smoke. I squint through the haze and see a collection of lounge chairs and a sofa, along with a small bar where a short woman stands wiping glasses. There are others in the room: men smoking from cigars with women sitting in their laps wearing dresses—and collars.

I balk. One of the men is petting a blonde woman kneeling between his legs, head bobbing slowly back and forth. His eyes are lidded and drowsy and a crystal tumbler hangs loosely from his fingertips. He’s obviously extremely drunk or high and the woman is obviously giving him a blowjob. What the hell is this place?!

The man blinks once. It’s hard to see him in the dark but I pick up on the sharp taste of Alpha and see a shock of blonde hair. He’s dressed up in a suit, tie loosened, jacket slung over the back of the chair. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows.

 “Is that Ben Solo I see?” he drawls.

 “I know that’s you with your cock down a woman’s throat, Jameson.” Ben takes hold of my wrist and tugs me toward an unoccupied chair. “Have you no decency? I told you I was bringing Rey.”

Jameson laughs, eyes fluttering shut. The tumbler drops to the floor. “You’re late and I had a long week.” He motions lazily toward the woman at the bar and runs his hands through his partner’s hair. “You’re too sober to be sitting there watching… but the girl can watch if she wants.”

 “Prick.”

Ben slaps his head on his way past but Jameson doesn’t seem bothered by it. I stay on the plush chair for some fucking reason, hands knitted in my lap and eyes roving literally _anywhere_ except to the other Alpha. A couple others are scattered around, all dressed up and engaged in different… things: one is just kissing a tall Omega’s neck, another is—god—having _sex_. I stop looking and just stare at the ceiling.

There’s a wet pop. “Willow, say hi to Rey. She’s going to marry Mister Solo.”

Grimacing, I meet the dilated blue eyes of Willow and see she has a huge bite mark on the side of her throat. She’s pretty and can’t be more than a year older than me, but she doesn’t say a word. Her mouth hangs open as she stares at me through the suffocating darkness, saliva smeared on her swollen pink lips, and familiar fear unfurls in my stomach. She’s Jameson’s _mate_. Her collar catches the light.

This is nothing like Elysian Fields. There’s no chivalry to any of it; no courting or gift-giving or gushing. Willow’s eyes are big and empty where Kaydel and Rose always had light glinting in theirs. This is… this is just slavery. She’s just her Alphas _slave_.

But aren’t the traditions back home just another form of slavery? Of captivity? At least there’s some semblance of respect there, though: being ‘kept’ like a prized pet instead of publicly humiliated. It’s glaringly obvious that Willow isn’t being clothed in nice dresses and eating finger sandwiches for lunch, waiting for an Alpha to swoop in and make her transition to adulthood cushy and simple. Her hair is brushed and she’s clean, but her outfit is revealing; it’s all skimpy fabric and garish colors.

Her mate is showing her off like a toy, and the reality of it makes me want to puke. It isn’t right. I want to go home.

Ben returns with two glasses. He offers me one and I refuse to drink at first, but change my mind when he raises an eyebrow. He touches the bottom, tilting back all the foul liquid down my throat until I retch and toss the cup across the room. Someone laughs.

 “I want to leave,” I whisper urgently.

 “So soon? We just got here.” Ben pulls me into his lap, one arm around my stomach to keep my back to his chest. He kisses my temple. “You wanted to see the city, so I decided we could start here and you can get a little taste of what life is like for an Omega in the Big Apple.”

 “You’re full of shit.”

 “Jameson has a wife—Lucy. She’s a Beta who he met _after_ he mated Willow.” He squeezes my thigh, breath warm on my ear. “Guess who gets to live in his nice house and be in the family pictures? Guess who carried both of his children to term and birthed them?”

Oh _no._ I shake my head, staring at Willow still wetly sucking Jameson’s dick like no one else is in the room. Oh _no_.

Ben pats my stomach and settles back to sip his drink. “Don’t fret too much. Willow has a nice condo of her own in Manhattan and a housekeeper to tend to her. Quite a heavy dose of medication to keep her from remembering the pups, too. It’s very hard for an Omega to be separated from them without dying from the grief.”

My heart aches, pained by the mention of losing pups, and I keep shaking my head in refusal of the horrible things Ben is telling me. He hums and nuzzles my neck, idly twirling the ice cube around in his drink.

 “Y-You’re lying,” I mutter. “You’re just trying to scare me.”

 “Now why would I do that, little one? Hm?” He toys with the fabric of my dress, voice dropping deeper. “He still loves her, but it’s inappropriate to marry an Omega. We all know what you’re really meant for.”

Looking around the dark room full of rich Alphas using their mates like toys, it’s hard not to believe Ben. My lower lip trembles and I shake my head again, biting back tears and wishing I never left home—but I won’t admit that to him. I won’t let him ruin this for me.

Jameson helps Willow into his lap and murmurs to her, lifting her dress just enough to tug her panties down. I turn away but Ben gently guides my jaw back to them and holds me there, and I can still hear her whimper and him groan even though my eyes are squeezed shut. My pulse grows steadily louder in my ears and helps drown them out.

 “I won’t do that to you,” Ben whispers. His free hand roams across my thigh again and brushes back up underneath the hem of my dress. My skin tingles where his fingertips graze. “You can see your friends whenever you please, and I’ll never replace you or take away your pups.”

My chest tightens; fears flickers. I’m dizzy and grab his forearm for support, worried I’ll topple over without him.

 “You don’t like that, do you? But here they’ll be taken from you and you’ll be all alone in this big city.”

 “Shut up,” I croak.

Ben slides his hand down from my jaw to my throat, squeezing. “You’ll always be safe with me. Your babies will be safe with me, too.” His other hand glides up my inner thigh and grazes the hem of my panties. I shiver and spread my legs just an inch or so, even though I hate him. “ _Our_ babies. Isn’t that right, Rey?”

My stomach flips and I manage a short nod. Ben kisses slowly along my jaw as his fingers roam along the seam of my panties in my groin, then creep along the top hem. I see his knuckles moving under the fabric of my dress and squirm as strokes two fingers along the fabric my panties.

It’s exhilarating and wrong doing this in public with so many people around. He traces my slit with his middle finger, touch lingering right where I want it; right where my hips roll and a stifled whimper slips through my lips. Ben slips both fingers inside my panties and groans into my hair, parting through my skin and dipping into the wetness I usually avoid. It’s sticky and thick, almost like slick.

Willow is bouncing in her mate’s lap and I swear I can feel Ben watching them over my shoulder. He shudders, hiding his face in my neck and shifting his hips to rub his erection against my butt. He seems impatient but his hand still moves slowly in my panties, fingers drifting up to my clit, touching in small circles with the lightest pressure. I can’t help moving in time with him thanks to the strange dreamy daze I’m in.

 “I’ll give you as many pups as you’d like,” Ben mumbles against my neck. “I’d like to bend you over this chair right now, but I think it might make you a bit cross in the morning.” His voice lowers again as he whispers in my ear. “I’ll settle for playing with your soft little pussy instead.”

 “…M’kay.”

Things quickly meld into a blur. I think I come and Ben licks his fingers clean while I slouch in his lap, eyes heavy, limbs leaden. Jameson leaves Willow curled up on the chair and she dozes off almost immediately, and I doze off watching her, then Ben rouses me.

He has another drink, followed by another. I’m too tired to be upset so I sleep against his chest and listened to him laugh and smell whiskey on his breath. More Alphas gravitate toward us with their own drowsy females, deep voices penetrating through my sleep and making me whine. I’m fucking tired. Can’t they shut up?

Ben pets my hair and hooks his hand behind my knees to keep me curled up against his chest. He’s just as loud as the others.

 “Fifteen?” one man says. “Jesus Christ.”

 “She’s a fiery little bitch, too. I’ve been humping her like a fucking dog ‘til my dick is raw.” Ben.

 “What gives? No one’s going to know if you pick her off the vine a couple months early. Must be awful blowing your load in your pants all the time.” A different man, this one shorter than Jameson. “And if you have to give her some _encouragement_ , no one’s going to give a shit.”

Ben laughs again but it’s more subdued. “Maybe. We’ll see.”

Jameson slaps the arm of his chair, disturbing Willow. She blinks and yawns and buries her face in the crook of his arm.

 “Happy medium,” he says, “she jerks you off.”

 “That’s Beta shit.” Another Alpha sounds revolted. “What’s the point of buying an Omega if she won’t put out? Too weak-willed and stupid to be anything but a cum dumpster.”

Jameson points a finger at the Alpha. “Did you just call my Willow a cum dumpster?” He moves in a flash, gathering and settling her, then sways to his feet. They’re all drunk as hell. “I’ll fucking gut you, Evans.”

The laughter transforms into shouting and I hear fists flying. Ben gathers me in his arms and moves through the group to the door, stumbling once or twice over his own two feet. He curses and tries the handle a couple times before spilling out into the hallway.

It’s another blurry trip back to the hotel. I’m vaguely aware that Ben drugged me and want to feel angry about it, but all I can do is whine and fight to keep my eyes open. He almost drops me on the sidewalk and has to lean on the wall in the elevator to keep from toppling over. We make it back to the hotel room and he dumps me on the bed.

Ben staggers, hiccuping. “Wake up. You got me hard.” His clumsy hands work open his belt and he drags me to the edge of the bed by my wrist, ignoring my yelp of pain. “C’mon. Suck my dick.”

Something warm and soft brushes my cheek. Ben breathes hard, brushing back my hair with a swipe of his big hand, then he cups my jaw and pulls it open. I don’t mind too much. My mouth pops and I stare at his blue dress shirt as the blunt head of his cock prods my lips. It leaves a sticky trail behind, moving along my top lip and down to the bottom.

He squeezes my jaw hard and suddenly shoves me away. I topple over on my back and lick the precum from my lips as Ben shucks off his trousers, scowling at me like I just slapped him.

 “I can’t do it if you fucking look at me like that!” he snaps.

He pulls off his shirt and throws it aside. I blink, watching him storm off to the bathroom and promptly slam the door shut. My head flops on the comforter and I close my eyes, frowning. Huh.

The roaring in my ears grows louder—then I’m fast asleep.


	14. In haunted attics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello....... lol  
> i haven't been into writing reylo recently--if you're ever wondering about updates, i'm on twitter @malreverie (sorry it's set to private) and tumblr, malevolent-reveries

Drenching night sweats wake me in the dark—and I know, inexplicably, that I’m doomed.

He’s maybe still drunk, pressed along my side with his nose buried in my hair, and I can taste something sharp and tangy on my tongue. His whole hand is buried down the front of my jeans and he’s rhythmically teasing my clit; maybe he’s the reason I woke up feeling this way.

I widen my thighs for him. Ben kisses my temple as he pushes my jeans down to my knees and presses harder on my clit; it’s just the right pressure but I sob instead of moaning. I’m in heat, I think, and there’s only one way to fix it. He’s lying right next to me.

 “Don’t be nervous, honey,” he mumbles.

 “Why can’t you—why can’t you be nice to me?”

Ben gently penetrates me with his middle finger. He strokes inside in an unhurried way, kissing slowly along my scalp as I squirm and writhe beside him. My thighs tremble and squeeze around his wrist—slick has them sticky and shiny in the moonlight.

 “I’m not nice?” he whispers. A second finger pushes inside, taking my breath. “I brought you here, didn’t I? I haven’t forced myself on you; haven’t lied. When have I been unkind to you, Rey?”

 “Since we _met_!”

He growls and I shrink back. Ben kisses down my jaw, switching to purring as his tongue flicks across the gland itching up near my ear. I swallow and tilt my head so he has better access, and he rewards me with more purring and longer strokes inside me. I’m prickly with want and need and on the cusp of coming; I’m irritated but can’t imagine moving.

But he slips his fingers free a moment later and I whimper in frustration. Ben shushes me as he roughly pulls off my pants and his own, and when he rolls over on top of me I realize he’s naked—and _hot_. His skin almost burns where it touches mine.

Still, I cling to him, burying my face in his neck where his scent is the strongest. Muscles in his back ripple under my fingertips: Alpha, a big Alpha, exactly what my hindbrain thinks I need. It’s more important than an education or a job or my own dignity. I spread my legs as Ben settles on his knees between them, but I still cry under his oppressive weight.

He kisses my forehead. “I know. Don’t be scared. Heat just gets worse if we put this off.”

 “Did you d-do this?” I ask. “Did you make me start early?”

A uncomfortable sensation distracts me from my question and I realize Ben is pushing inside me, the thick head of his cock instead of his fingers. He cups the side of my head to keep me from looking down and kisses my lips to swallow my shocked gasp. It doesn’t hurt—it’s just a weird _stretch_.

I cling to his shoulders as I’m slowly impaled like the prized kill I am. He’s warm and hard and it feels nice being full but I also fucking hate it. I dig my heels into the mattress as he starts thrusting, slow at first, then progressively faster. The bed rattles lightly and mixes with the muffled slap of skin coming together. Ben pants hot on my collarbone.

 “Feel better?” he asks, breathless.

I nod. A little.

My nails bite into his skin. “Did you… make me start early?”

He growls again to shut me up and sucks hard under my jaw. The pull of instinct is hard to resist, like trying to change course while stepping down. Gravity keeps me where I am and I gaze at the white ceiling overhead, listening vaguely to the sounds Ben makes. I knew this was coming soon. I should’ve run.

It doesn’t hurt. I don’t even want him to stop. I’m sure that’s the hormones convincing me everything is fine, and he knows what’s best, and I should lie still, but maybe it’s the inevitability of it all. There’s no safe haven in the whole country for me to flee to. Somehow, Elysian Fields is safer than the North, so I’ll become Ben’s mate and wife and soon I’ll be having tea parties with my pregnant friends.

I stare over his shoulder at the ceiling and feel a horrible sensation like claws reaching under my skin and I know—I have to run. Even if it kills me.

—————

 “Rey? Rey?”

I’m still drenched in sweat when I wake up from the nightmare but I think it’s more sickness than heat. Ben is leaning over me in bed, and I’m flat on my back with my dress too far up my thighs for comfort. Thank god it was a nightmare.

I swallow and look anywhere but at him. “Can’t you let me die in peace?”

 “No.” Ben squints and settles a big palm on my forehead. I hiss, writhing toward the middle of the bed. “Fever, hm? You’re certainly not in heat so it must be a stomach bug.”

 “Okay. Go away.”

That won’t happen. Animal brain switches on and Ben starts fussing over everything like the overbearing Alpha he is: he changes the sheets, calls for more pillows, and carries me to the bathroom for a shower. My breakfast is decided, too, and I glare at the floor.

Ben loosens the collar of his shirt. “We can stay in today. Tomorrow I want you to see the Met and Natural History Museum, then we’ll go back to Eylsian Fields where we _should_ be.” He doesn’t hesitate as he peels off my clothes, like he has the right to do it.

I grit my teeth. “I can do that myself.”

 “You’re sick.”

 “Maybe I got sick from your dick in my mouth!” I spit. “Must be chock fucking full of STDs.”

He rips down through my top with a hard swipe of his hand, exposing my chest before I have the chance to cover it with my arms. Ben smiles and stares me in the eyes as he twists my panties around his fist and rips them off. They flutter in tatters to the floor by his shiny black shoes with my shirt.

 “I see I should’ve let you keep going,” he replies coolly. “You were doing such a lovely job—very stimulating, the way you bat your eyes.”

 “Fuck you. Go back to your club of freaks.”

 “That’s not very nice, Rey. You were having a good time for what I could tell.”

Irritated, I turn for the shower, trembling from the fever and chills, and stumble over the lip on the edge. I catch myself on the tile wall and manage to turn on the water by myself, but Ben isn’t going to leave me alone. I catch a glimpse of him taking off his shirt and he catches my eye as he unbuckles his belt.

He smiles. “See something you like?”

I huff and roll my eyes, turning back to rinse my hair under the spray. I’ll feel better when the sweat washes off. I’ll take a nap and figure out what to do next, like where the hell I’ll go when I run away.

Ben steps in the shower _naked_ and closes the door. I bristle at him standing behind me but his hands go straight to washing my hair instead of wandering elsewhere. I close my eyes, lost in the admittedly relaxing sensation of his big fingers massaging my scalp. Just don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.

He turns me around. “Keep your eyes shut.”

I squeeze them closed until spots dance under my eyelids. Ben rinses the shampoo from my hair, standing much closer than before, so I hold his biceps and sink my nails in as a warning. It doesn’t do much except make him laugh.

 “That stings,” he remarks. He reaches past me for something and I crack an eye open. “Your hair is clean, now I’ll scrub off the sweat. Are you nauseous at all? Dizzy?”

 “I’m in a boiling hot shower with _you_ , so yes to both. I’d like to go lie down.”

 “Not until you’re clean. What kind of Alpha would I be, letting a sick Omega lie in bed filthy?” Ben brushes back his wet mop of black hair as he sets to scrubbing my collarbone with a beige loofa. I redden and try to cover my chest. “Ah ah, none of that.”

 “I can wash myself fine.”

He doesn’t care. His gentle scrubbing roams down to one breast and the other and he kisses the side of my head, moving in slow circles down my stomach. I stare at his chest and listen to the water pounding around us, trying not to react to him wandering lower.

Ben traces the small of my back with a fingertip. “Only I can wash you properly, Rey. You know that.”

His hand moves between my legs. I stiffen, jerking at the touch, but he fists my hair at the back of my head and I arch against him instead. My toes curl on the wet floor as I teeter back, jaw set tight. He smiles like he always does when he knows he has me cornered.

It makes my blood boil. There’s no way in hell I’ll ever marry him, or mate with him, or even fuck him. I’m not going to be a kept pet like Kaydel and Rose—I’m not going to convince myself I’m happy being in a gilded cage. I’d rather suffer and struggle for freedom than put up with five more minutes of Ben Solo.

He’s so distracted by his latest victory that he’s left wide open for attack. I clench my teeth and punch blindly below the belt where I think it’s going to hurt, and he crumples in the far corner. Dizzy, I stumble out of the shower and snatch a towel to dry off, making my way to the room for clothes before I run. Have to hurry, have to hurry—

 “Rey— _fuck_ —Rey!”

I throw on a sweater and leggings, snatch his wallet, and make a break for it. The collar won’t come off but I hide it with my hair swept to the front and hope it’ll keep the cops off my tail.

I leave the hotel room door wide open. The hall is empty, leaving plenty of space to run for the stairs; I take them two at a time and don’t stop to look and see if Ben is following me. His shout echoes in my ears over the pounding of my own heart.

The door pops open on a busy city street in early morning. I slow to blend in and merge with the crowd and no one bothers to look up at me.

And I think I’m free.


	15. And true love lives

It’s dizzying being out on the streets alone. I’m flying high on my escape, collar jangling with the ID tag that says I belong to _Doctor Ben Solo_. Right now I don’t belong to anyone, and that’s the best fucking feeling in the world. I’m Rey, and I don’t belong to _anyone_.

People check their cell phones and walk along to work or wherever they need to be. I’m part of a living system in New York, not a golden statue up on a pedestal. It’s nice being a nobody. I like blending.

But I know I need to find somewhere to hide before the cops come looking. They’ll see my collar and know I’m an Omega and know exactly where to bring me. I have to get the thing off and lay low for a bit before I make a break for it and flee the city.

I’m buffered by the busy crowds until I wind up in a park. It’s lush and green, the familiar colors of Elysian Fields, and towering concrete skyscrapers break up into winding paths and benches. People walk along leisurely with their dogs or jog through the shade, and some hang around a big fountain where a woman plays the violin. This would be a great place to hide.

Nervous, I brush my hair to hide my collar and head down the path to my right that stretches through thick trees. Sweat beads down my nape but I ignore it because I can’t afford to start heat today. Someone will smell me. They’ll find me.

I’m halfway down the path and eyeing a thick clump of unkempt bushes when someone whistles behind me. I freeze. I should run. I have to run.

 “Hey, girl—I know what you are.”

I run.

The person behind me doesn’t run. I’m only a couple feet away when she speaks in a deep tone I can’t ignore.

 “Stop right there.”

Body and brain stop cooperating. It’s an Alpha using her voice on me—a female Alpha—and I cant move a muscle. I stand in the middle of the path stone still and tremble from the strain of being pinned in place as she slowly approaches. Shit, shit…

A woman around my height but a couple years older peers around my shoulder. Her hair is brown with bangs hanging from her ponytail, framing a pretty round pixie face. She chews gum and grins, raising her eyebrows. I stare.

 “I could smell you blocks away,” she says. Her lip ring flips side to side like she’s thinking. “What’s your name?”

I don’t answer so she checks my collar. She smells like Alpha for sure but in a different way than Ben. I’m a bit repulsed by her.

 “Rey,” she reads, “property of _Doctor_ Ben Solo. Out for a stroll without permission, Rey?”

 “It’s… it was an accident!” I blurt. “We got separated at the hotel and I got scared—”

 “My name’s Jyn. I help Omegas who get… lost.” Jyn leans back away from me and adjusts the sleeve of her light gray jogging sweater. She doesn’t dress or act like an Alpha. “I’ve got a place where you can hide. Live there with my mate, Cassian, and a bunch of other Omegas. Couple Alphas, but they’ll leave you alone.”

No. I’m hardwired not to trust strangers. My body screams at me to find Ben and not go anywhere with this strange Alpha woman.

But I’m trembling now, sweat beading on my forehead, and a wave of nausea passes over me. Jyn raises her eyebrows expectantly and helps cover my collar with my hair again. Warm fingertips brush my clammy neck. She’s not Ben, but she’s an Alpha, and that’s still comforting.

 “I have medicine that can slow it down,” she offers. She takes my hand and tugs gently. “Come on. Let’s go before someone sees you.”

The prospect of entering heat in the middle of a park is terrifying, so I follow Jyn back out on the park and into the streets of the city.

She leads me down a couple of narrow alleys and behind restaurants, away from the hubbub on the sidewalks. The sound of honking horns fades as we carry on past dumpsters and groups of stray cats that watch us silently from the shadows. I swallow and tug on my collar, heart pounding hard enough that I can hear it in my ears. It’s happening. I can’t stop it.

Jyn turns sharply and pounds on a heavy metal door. It’s quiet, then a slot opens and the door groans open into a small hallway.

Inside smells like trees—like pine needles and detergent. Jyn shuts the door and turns a huge deadbolt and I stand and wait and shiver. I’m in it now. I got away from Ben and now she’s probably going to sell me or something.

She scowls. “Hector, get Cassian and quit sniffing Rey.”

A small man is right behind me smelling the back of my shirt. I shriek and jerk back when I smell Alpha and see his pupils dilated, black and hungry like a shark. He edges closer, whimpering and wringing his hands.

Jyn charges between us, snarling like a jungle cat. Hector skitters away without a word and disappears around a corner. It looks like the hallway opens up into a dimly lit kitchen and a sitting room to our right.

 “He’s new,” she says, leading me into the sitting room.

It has a couple mismatched couches and a television. There’s a girl splayed out on the couch watching _Cops_ and she doesn’t seem impressed when she sees us. She smacks her gum and twirls a finger through neon pink hair. A faded scar is just visible under the arch of her jaw.

 “Rey, this is Melanie,” Jyn says, sitting and pushing the girl’s legs out of her way. “She’s an escapee from an Alpha.”

Melanie heaves a sigh. She gets up and wanders off across the beige carpet, into the other part of the kitchen. A door opens and shuts.

I’m on the edge, struggling to sit and get myself under control. My skin prickles and itches and cramps roll through my lower belly. The lights are low but still too bright; the chair I’m sitting in is too itchy—

A door opens again, this time from a lanky man with brown hair. He’s in a dress shirt and slacks, ready to go nowhere, and smiles when he sees Jyn. She hops to her feet and jumps in his arms, casually lowering her mouth to the mating bite on the side of his neck. He’s an Omega, and a man. Pretty rare.

Cassian awkwardly makes his way over to me with a water bottle. Jyn doesn’t look up when he hands it to me and adjusts her where she’s wrapped around him. I stare at them for a minute before looking down at the sickly green liquid and the torn wrapper. It could be poison for all I know.

 “It looks awful,” he acknowledges, “but it’ll stop your cycle for twenty-four hours. You can drink about ten before you get sick.”

Jyn peppers his cheeks with kisses as she drops back to the floor.

 “If you need it to run away from your Alpha, it’ll do the job. You can take two if you want.” She shrugs. “If you want to stay in the city, we can give you somewhere to wait out the heat or one of the Alphas here can help.”

 “I want to go home,” I manage before I’m crying again. Tears drip on my clothes as Cassian sits beside me. “I don’t want this—I want to be normal!”

He pats my back and lets me cry on his shoulder while Jyn picks at her nails and looks bored. I miss Rose and Kaydel. I wish I could take them with me and we could all run away together to someplace better.

But I’m desperate and alone, so I quickly drink the horrid liquid. It tastes like metal and for a second I think I might puke, but I hold my head in my hands and the feeling passes. The trembling carries on in my hands and feet, yet I feel immediately cooler and less anxious. Thank god.

Jyn gives a thumbs-up. “Much better. At least no one can smell you.” She sits on the arm of the couch, head cocked. “If you want to run back home, stay for the night and leave tomorrow. We can give you some food for the trip and a couple bottles of this stuff until you find a safe place. Maine is your best bet for the most open Omega laws.”

I sniffle pitifully, wiping my eyes. “Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”

 “No problem. That’s why we have this place.”

 “We started it after we met,” Cassian adds. “To take in the misfits like us, I guess. You’re welcome to stay for as long as you need, Rey.”

Their kindness seems too good to be true. I’m not used to it anymore. I expect the worst of people, and most times they prove me right.

Jyn shows me to a bedroom with a huge deadbolt. It’s a twin bed and the shower only sprays cold water, but it’s better than sleeping in a park. I hide my things under the mattress and follow her to the kitchen for lunch. She says it’s best to put something in my stomach to keep the green crap from coming back out. Works for me—I’m hungry anyway.

We eat sandwiches, me listening to Jyn and Cassian talk about their days, and I slowly feel normal again. Hector brings a pair of clippers that Jyn uses to cut off my collar and I feel _human_ again. I rub the empty spot on my throat and chew my food and wonder if I should just stay here. There’s nothing for me in Elysian Fields. They’re just going to send me back to Ben.

But watching Jyn and Cassian makes the Omega in me ache for the same bond, and I know someone like Hector isn’t my type. I won’t find an Alpha hiding in a house in the dark and praying Ben doesn’t find me. Maine is where I should go. Jyn says the laws there are the most lax: I can have a job and go out in public alone. There’s support groups. Emergency shelters.

Freedom.

Jyn throws my collar in the trash. “Sucks to be Doctor Ben Solo, doesn’t it? How old are you, anyway? Sixteen?”

 “Fifteen,” I mumble.

Cassian laughs nervously. “We’ll take the Alpha help with heat thing off the table, then. I have no idea what a grown man would want with a—”

Heavy pounding on the door startles the group of us. Jyn gets to her feet with Hector following and Cassian slowly gets up. It’s quiet, then they pound like hell again, almost shaking the frame of the apartment.

Cassian slides open a hidden door in the island. “In here, Rey.”

He grabs my collar out of the trash and hands me my plate. I crawl in, terrified, and the door slides shut, plunging me into darkness. I’m alone in the musty hiding spot listening to feet moving and people mumbling.

The door groans open. More talking, then footsteps start toward the kitchen. I swallow and squeeze my eyes shut.

 “You’re sure she didn’t come this way?”

All my hope crashes and burns at the sound of his voice. My hands shake; I have to bite my lip to keep from bursting into tears. There’s only a few inches of wood and a couple feet between us. He can _smell me_. He’s going to find me and I’m never going to get away.

Jyn snorts. “How should I know? Last I saw she was in Central Park and running off. She refused my help.”

 “You smell like her,” Ben replies in his eerie, barely-calm deep voice.

 “She kept crying so I hugged her. She’s not claimed.”

 “Her collar says she belongs to me, and I should be contacted. Why was I not contacted, Jyn?”

Cassian laughs uncomfortably. “Okay, well, Rey is headed in the other direction, so we can’t help you. Jyn’s a scatterbrain. I bet she didn’t catch your name on the tag, Ben, or she would’ve called.”

 “What of the empty bottle of heat suppressant?” Ben continues, ignoring Cassian. “Was that for your male Omega? Does he whine for you?”

Scuffling ensues. Jyn snarls like she did at the door and I hear Cassian pleading with her to calm down and let it go. She won’t. She’s an Alpha. I imagine she’s toe-to-toe with Ben, glaring him down.

She growls. “You should leave. My mate and I are busy and you have no business being in my territory.” Her growl deepens. “I’m still willing to follow the old laws and rip your throat out, Ben Solo.”

 “You can try,” he murmurs.

 “Okay, time to go,” Cassian interrupts with another laugh. “I have whining to do, Ben has an Omega to look for, and Jyn is due for her afternoon nap.”

They don’t say much else. Ben turns and walks back out, Jyn following him all the way to the door. She slams it shut and pounds on it herself, hissing and cursing up a storm. It’s a slight to mock her mate. Alphas don’t like slights. Their egos can’t handle it.

The door slides open, Cassian crouching in front of it. He’s not smiling.

 “Rey, you need to leave tonight.”


End file.
